Tuesday, April 18, 2006

In Her Linen Skirt, Making Bad Guys Hurt

I'm already planning on picking up DC's "52" because I'm a sucker for this kind of thing. ("Civil War"? Civil WHATEVER, man!) And I'm especially surprised and delighted by this gorgeous cover. Check it out: Black Adam has a cape, now! (I didn't notice it until Devon Sanders pointed it out on his blog. That's me: Mister Observant.) Anyway, good for him! I've thought Black Adam needed a cape ever since he threw off the influence of that weasely little Theo Adam and revealed his true personality to be somewhere between Magneto and Thor. It makes him look more heroic and kingly, and it's a much-needed visual symbol of his status change. And bonus! It looks like he has a girlfriend! And not just any girlfriend, mind you. Her name is Isis.

I was hoping it would be the Isis from the 1970's live-action kids' show but that's doubtful. Another company owns the rights to the character, but I've noticed its website doesn't list print rights. So it could happen! Maybe. In a parallel universe or something. And Lord knows I've seen my share of those.

Let's take a look at the 70's Isis, shall we?

final cover

Here she is, reeling from the attack of a guy who has "the mutant power to change best friends into hated enemies" and, apparently, the added ability of spraying hot, delicious queso dip from his eyeballs. As you can see, she has a great outfit, and I tip my cap to the TV costume designer who came up with it. Let's see if her fashion sense carries over into her civilian identity.

startling transformation

Ah. Evidently not. Also, Wonder Woman called; she wants her schtick back. Also, I didn't know she was secretly Bailey Quarters from "WKRP In Cincinnati." Also, it's the Jennifer Walters line of frumpy pantsuits! Oh, I could go on like this all day! *sighs wistfully* But what really sets Isis apart from someone like Wonder Woman is that she's a magic user and she gets things done through rhyming couplets. Like, constantly.

obedient bullets

Okay, somebody explain to me how she was able to recite her little poem before being mowed down by gunfire. I guess the second panel shows that the criminals were just really poor shots. Lucky for Isis. If you're wondering what those things are on the villains' heads? Don't ask. Aw, alright already. I'll spill it. They're "lead-lined brain covers" designed to shield their thoughts from the mutant guy. To someone like me, with my combination psychic shields/snack containers, they're wonderfully quaint. Although I think I could seriously rock that look. Y'know, if I wanted to. But I don't.

Isis' comic was cancelled with this issue. A little blurb in the letter column blames low sales. I think an Isis comic would stand a better chance today, especially if DC really went for the female market, because:
1. The character has mythological/fairy tale elements.
2. She doesn't dress like a cheap hooker, Supergirl.
3. She fights crime with poetry! How girly is that?

Well, it's not too girly, I've decided, because I wanna try it! Let's see if I can make things happen for myself with mystic-sounding couplets. I've been meaning to do a little grooming, so...

As farmers' scythes glide through their crops,
Trim my sweet-ass muttonchops!

Hmm. Nothin'. I'll try again.

Golden sunsets painting twilights,
Give my hair some bangin' highlights!

Nope. No dice. Obviously I suck at this.


Dean Trippe said...

"2. She doesn't dress like a cheap hooker, Supergirl."

hahahahaha! :D

Steven said...

What's Black Adam like on a date?

Sure he picks up the check ("Black Adam does not Go Dutch.") but he also probably orders for you and talks about his dead wife way, way too much.

Anonymous said...

Isis is slammin'. Like most het guys who were kids in the '70s, I had a deep and abiding interest in her. But a big part of it was platonic, being impressed by her poise and power, and I suspect she was a formative prefeminist figure for many a young girl.

Oh yeah, clothes.

Her outfit is a classic. Sleek and elegant. You can rarely go wrong with the Egyptian look--it's a natural fit for superheroes; one wonders why more don't go that route. Here's a good example. Serina was an utterly unremarkable comic at best, but that outfit is a saving grace (as soon as she gets rid of the licorice on her left wrist anyway). But I just found out she couldn't leave well enough alone:


Anonymous said...

Ah, Isis. That show went off the air nearly a decade before I was born. I'm still aware of it, though, mainly because Joanna Cameron was really hot.

Man, Teth-Adam is working it. I guess chicks dig Vulcans.

Still, I'm sorry to say it doesn't look like Isis is that far removed from Supergirl. Sure, she's not wearing a belt and calling it a skirt, but she's A) flying above people's heads while wearing a skirt and B) showing off her navel. Oh, the navel fetish.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Dryponder: Glad ya liked it. Phantom Lady was my alternate punchline.

Steven: Haw! Poor Isis might find herself trapped in a superhero version of "Rebecca!" Don't know who Adam's "Mrs. Danvers" would be, though. Maybe Atom Smasher. Or Uncle Dudley!

Chawunky: Serina should have consulted me on the best way to incorporate snacks into one's costume. Still, I bet that licorice comes in handy. Observe this hypothetical scenario:

Wimpy Steve Trevor-type Guy: A cave-in! We're entombed! Serina, however will we survive?

Serina (nibbling at one of her licorice bangles): I don't know about you, bitch, but my ass is covered.

Spiritglyph: Yeah, Teth-Adam is a playa! That just tickles me to death. And I guess the difference between Isis and Supergirl, for me, is that Isis' cross-your-heart top is elegant and looks like a true historical costume, whereas the Supergirl's belly shirt puts me in mind of a late 1960's Atlantic City pole dancer.

Devon Sanders said...

Just when you thought you couldn't love her any more, then it's:

Isis, now with more mid-riff.