Hey, Nerds! Football!

Hi, guys! It's me, Jeremy, the football newbie. I didn't think it would make any sense for me to barge into Lance's post so I'm doing the football commentary separately. Yesterday I watched the Denver-Kansas City game. It was another close one. Tied 6-6 at the end of the fourth quarter, and the Broncos finally won with a field goal in overtime. I was pissed. (Hey, I am turning into a football fan! If a team I like wins next time, maybe I'll vandalize something. Or overturn a police car.) Some thoughts I scribbled down as I was watching:

• According to the commentators, the Broncos had "too many turnovers last week." Yeah, me too. Too many delicious, piping-hot apple turnovers with cream cheese icing. My lower intestine was like a Play-Doh Fun Factory.
• In the first quarter, KC managed to fumble the ball less than ten yards from the goal line and Denver grabbed it away from then. It was the most frustrating moment of the game for me. Until the second quarter, that is, when Denver took the ball away from KC when it was one foot from the goal line. Gah! And then, of course, overtime. *weakly shakes fist in the general direction of Denver*
• KC's fill-in QB Damon Huard spent 2121 days between starts. That's enough time for Kevin Smith to write two whole comic book scripts!
• I just noticed, when football players pull their helmets up and back and let them just kind of squat atop their heads like big inflated berets... that'd be a good look for Maximus the Mad.
• Second quarter, actual quotes from the announcers: "Smith is down!" "But the ball... squirts out at the end." Sounds like somebody forgot to wear a cup!
• In the third quarter, KC's Huard passed to Kennison, and Denver's Ferguson managed to push him out of bounds after essentially waltzing with him for about ten yards. It was freaky. They just twirled around and around for what felt like forever. I kept waiting for Bruno Tonioli to say something.