Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Bonus Post: the Long, Long Trail

In a comment to my previous post, Jonathan expressed disappointment that I didn't go with my original plan of depicting the gender-reversed Starfire with a giant beard and no hair. "I'm just a-fixated on that giant flying beard," he wrote.

Me too, Jonathan. Which is why I thought I'd show everybody exactly why I didn't draw him that way. Here's Starfire Dude flyin' around, his gargantuan beard leaving a visible trail in his wake:


How do I feel when I see a beard like that? Like my heart has been touched by Christ... and he finger-banged my aortic valve! But I'm in the vast minority here. And besides, a beard so utterly colossal makes a costume pointless. That's why I only gave him boots and wrist-guards. Yeah, that's the reason. *nervously avoids your gaze*

Now let's see him from above:


Oh, Starfire Dude--! You're scaring the local fauna! Knock it off this instant!

...Hmm. He spends a lot of time in the gym! Mostly in the showers. (Conditioning his beard! Why, what were you thinking?)

Mammothly-bearded Starfire faces persecution from the general public and his teammates alike! Watch out for that famous Tamaranian temper, She-borg!


But at heart, he's not a fighter. He's a lover!


Aw! Jonathan, he likes you! Or maybe he's referring to Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. Well, I'd advise either of you gentlemen to take care sailing into those romantic waters. You'd be something like Starfire Dude's fourth fiance and third husband! Where are the other two husbands right now? I'm not sure, but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that they're both trapped somewhere inside that beard... it's like a pitcher plant!


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh my God.

I can't stop laughing.

Bill S. said...

You, sir, are eleven kinds of awesome!

Anonymous said...

Can you draw Alan Moore like that?

Johnathan said...

I heartily approve! My mighty heart *is* breaking, though, for he either loves Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator or doesn't love me enough to spell my name right. (on second thought, this is a bit of a relief. I mean, think of the children!)

Anonymous said...

hee hee. Awesome. I like your cartoonery. I'd read an entire comic book featuring this little guy.

Johnathan said...

Uh, if I sounded catty about the name thing, disregard. It was all in the name of amusement!

Professor Xavier said...

That was funny and all, but the Bearded Starfire just doesn't look as good in a thong as the Teen Titans Starfire.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Thanks, fellas! Those little comments really brighten my day!

Jon(athan): No problem... I knew you were kiddin'! And the "Jon" thing spun out of a combination of my own laziness and the opportunity to make a joke about it. So, um... voila, I guess.

Anonymous: Draw Alan Moore like that? I think I just did! You can print out the cartoons and scribble a muscle shirt on him if that helps.

Professor Xavier: I agree. Bearded Starfire should never wear any manner of swimwear, undergarment, pants, skirt, kilt, robe, or... well, you get the idea.

MaGnUs said...

Draw Alan Moore like that? Why, that is Alan Moore, only with his head shaven!

You should have given him a Tamarafro (I'm gonna steal that term if you don't use it).

And why is he fat? Or is he "portly"?

Jeremy Rizza said...

I thought about the Tamarafro but I didn't want to distract from the beard. And he's not fat! Check out the slim little waist in the second picture. He's just nicely bulky in certain places. Although he may want to lay off the sugar-filled breakfast cereals.

MaGnUs said...

Ok, so he is portly.

TA-MA-RA-FRO! TA-MA-RA-FRO! (that's me cheering your use of the term!)