Tuesday, October 23, 2007

D-List Monsters of Super-Hero Land: The Spook, Part Three


Sure, anybody can pull off this trick with suction-cup shoes... plus hollow bones, steel rods running from their ankles up to their neck, and a total disregard for the law of gravity.

Or maybe the "startling discovery" is that the Spook forgot to close his robe! (Talk about scary--! I have it on good authority* that the Spook's junk resembles an unbaked brioche.)

The Spook loves to create spectacular illusions that depend on maneuvering Batman into just the right place at just the right time. Conceptually, this is already a bit goofy, but it just gets stupid when these illusions occur in public places. In this story, the Spook rigs a trap door in the middle of Gotham's version of the Triborough Bridge, and a spring-loaded platform in the floor of that museum he's robbing in the above panel -- plus he gimmicked the building's roof! Not to mention, he somehow manages to replace a section of wall in a private home's courtyard -- a wall that borders a street, no less -- with a large section of painted "self-sealing" rubber. ('Cause you can walk right through that shit. If this story is to be believed.)

So to sum up, the Spook breaks into a bunch of places to set up intricate magic tricks, and then he goes back later and robs the joints.

And they say the Riddler is messed-up.

But then, the Spook's ultimate scheme was to subliminally brainwash Batman into wanting to kill him! And then... well, it's complicated.


Yeah, I'd say the Spook is having an "unparalleled episode," alright. He's practically foaming at the mouth! Spook, you're dealing with The Gol-Danged Batman! Didn't it occur to you that he might have outsmarted you by pretending to die before you could? Why are you giving a full confession? Quick, feel up his "corpse" for recording devices! No, really. Give it a good, thorough grope.

*i.e. Storm Boy.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That was a lot of work just to have the Batman outwit him by dying like that. What a maroon.

Anonymous said...

What a sad little poot he has in that last panel. A sad, smelly end to a genius-in-its-simplicity plot to rearrange all of Gotham City's buildings in order to trick Batman into killing him but not really so he could dig his way out of his grave in two weeks and watch Batman not trust himself so he won't be Batman anymore. And Batman spoiled it by dying in the line of duty while trying to stop the Spook and so can't be Batman anymore, which--wait, why isn't this a win?

I guess being buried for two weeks was the more important part of the plan.


Anonymous said...

unbaked brioche?

Ugh, that's a disturbing image that won't go away anytime soon.


Dave said...

OK, let's see --

Panel 1. THE SPOOK steps towards BATMAN.

Panel 2. THE SPOOK shakes it all around.

Panel 3: THE SPOOK steps away from BATMAN.

3-panel expository hokey-pokey. Yeesh!

Bill S. said...

"YOU FOOL! I was the one who was meant to die!"

Slasher, honey, is that you in that robe?

Jeremy Rizza said...

Jon: That's the lesson, I guess: never try to trick Batman. He'll do anything to keep the upper hand!

Anonymous: Yeah, maybe the Spook's ultimate, ultimate goal by faking his death was to escape credit card debt and start his life afresh in a new town. Er, not that I've ever considered that.

Nico: You're quite welcome. (That's the one sentence in this post that made me prouder than a new father.)

Dave: Haw!

Bill S.: He's got the EYES for it, that's for sure.