Chairman of the "Sword"

Now it can be told! Here's the super-duper, triple-reverse secret project I've been working on. It's a grand parody of that "Sword of Aquaman" picture that's cracked the internet in half, or at least chipped it a little. It was the idea of my internet pal Scipio, of Absorbascon fame. That's him in the center, in a stunning costume designed by yours truly (to Scip's specifications), gladly replacing the mysterious pseudo-Aquaman (or "Arthur Curry Joe Dorita," as I like to call him). Instead of a big heavy sword, he's holding a fencing foil and his pet dog! In place of the original pic's be-tentacled sorceror is Starman; in place of King Shark is Orca the Whale-Woman. And lounging seductively at Scipio's feet is the throbbingly powerful Vibe, looking right at home despite having been choked to death by a robot about twenty years ago... oops! Hope I didn't spoil any old comics for you. Anyway, they're all Scipio's favorite characters, and truth be told, I'd rather read a comic about them than this tedious-looking Conan knock-off DC is about to foist on us all.

I drew the whole thing myself. Well, Jeremy helped. A little. Mainly in plastering his surname on it, even though he didn't have a damned thing to do with it. Hey, just like Edith Head with the costume designs for "Sabrina!" Also, he insisted on crediting the original artist, Jackson "Butch" Guice... even though I personally happen to think it's abundantly clear that this is a perfectly legal parody. I'm not a "swipe artist," and I'll fight any man who says I am! (Preferably after dinner and drinks.)