Monday, June 05, 2006
This Town Isn't Fabulous Enough For The Two Of Us
Shootout at the "Oh, gay!" corral! Hawk, Son of Tomahawk, is beyond a doubt the queerest-looking western lawman I have ever seen. Yes, more so than Bat Lash. Or even the Rawhide Kid, when he's wearing that weird floor-length nightshirt. Observe Hawk's exquisite chartreuse embroidery, done in an Art Nouveau botanical pattern. (Quite remarkable, that, considering Hawk was born about a century before the advent of the Art Nouveau movement). Note also the perfectly coifed hair, described in "Who's Who" #10 (December, 1985) as "brown, with a blond streak." And I'm sure that's completely natural. He keeps a bottle of peroxide in that beaded man-purse, er, Native american pouch, doesn't he? Oh, sure, his pop was a natural blond and his mommy was an Indian princess, but human genetics don't work like that. He's a frontiersman, not an alleycat. Naw, ol' Hawk just wanted some bangin' highlights. I completely understand; I also like to express my feelings through my hair. Sometimes I get so mad, I just wanna punch something, but then I take a deep breath and touch up my roots and I feel all better. And then there's Hawk's limp little scarf -- no bandanas for him! -- and of course the tight-fitting, open-to-the-navel shirt. At least, I assume it's a shirt. The way Frank Thorne draws it here, it could very well be a one-piece. All that's missing is the ice skates!