Thursday, October 11, 2007

If ABC Promises to Stop Airing "Cavemen", Will You Come Down?

as207chainsanstuff

...And to top it off, he really has to pee right now.

Damn. Even for an Italian dude in Bedford-Stuy, this'd be a lot of chains! Or maybe he's a rapper, and the giant clock fell off.

Kidding. This is the-not-at-all-clumsily-named Oswald Clum, the "celebrated drama critic." Of Mesmero's one-man spectacular, he wrote, "A disgrace that such garbage should appear in a Broadway theater--!" So, Mesmero put a little whammy on him, and Spider-Man got to have his 7,384th flashback to That Time He Didn't Save Gwen Stacy. He saves Clum, though, with Denny O'Neil crowing, "a perfect catch!" And so Mesmero was left stomping in a huff about his shitty little dressing room, plotting to hyp-mo-tize a whole bunch of critics this time. I imagine he spent the rest of the evening re-blocking his stupid baby bonnet, checking his purple diaper for signs of leakage, and tightening the pointless air hoses on his back, and then... what th'? Somebody's in my apartment! It's... aw, hells, naw!

as207oldfashionedway



Hey! Quit it! Gah! Stop! Dillweed! Call 'em off, Mesmero! Don't make me climb into that suit with you and clobber your ass--!

And where'd you get kryptonite, anyhow?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mesmero's wearing a flameproof suit to protect him from rancid kryptonite snowballs? That doesn't even make se--

Spidey didn't save Gwen Stacy? Noooooooooooooo!

Purple Hand: Proof that Galactus can only throw underhand without looking like a girl or peculiar lunch for the rabid guy in the blue suit? (The artist did an awful job composing that one, unless the other panels support it.)

Blockade Boy said...

Maybe Purple Hand is combining his girly throw with a kick-ass karate move! Yeah, that's it...

Accursed and oblivious Interloper said...

... whuhunh? It looks from here like Blue Suit is throwing the ... whatever those things are, and missing Purple Hand. But then, I'm blissfully ignorant of the context here, and come to think of it, hoping to remain so. Sorry, forget I asked. Never Mind.

Blockade Boy said...

If this was from just a few years later, I'd guess he was throwing Madballs. Remember Madballs? No? Then consider yourself lucky.

Accursed and unembittered Interloper said...

I don't, and I DO consider myself lucky. Thank you.