Friday, November 02, 2007

D-List Monsters of Super-Hero Land: The Origami Monster, Part One

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Guest-starring: Minnie, the MILF Wonder!

...That joke was written by Tusker, by the way. He was looking over my shoulder while I was examining this ancient comic, and just said that to me. I didn't know he had it in 'im! Maybe I've been too harsh with the boy. I'm starting to realize that his crushing shyness has made him seem way dumber than he really is. I've been helping him to act with more confidence, and more and more, he'll drop some little bon mot like that, just out of the blue. And thank the Luck Lords, 'cause I was worried we were going to be trapped in some effed-up "Of Mice and Men" relationship for the rest of our lives.

But of course, this is Tusker, the King of the Sad-Sacks, we're talking about, so he had to immediately screw up that little moment of brilliance with this pathetic exchange:
Tusker: No, seriously, she's hot.
Me (scoffing): What, so you're into moms now? Dude, you're only twenty-two! You wanna be tied down to some lady with a kid?!
Tusker: At this point, I don't really feel like I can afford to be choosy. [He glumly slinks away.]
Me [rubs throbbing temples]: Holy balls.
Okay, I've got to go for now, but I promise to spend at least a couple more posts on this comic, because it's written by Alan Brennert and therefore is FREAKING AWESOME. I mean, it has an origami monster in it! C'MON!

12 comments:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wow, she does have nice gams! They go all the way up and back down again.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

You won me over at MILF wonder. Origami monster is just a bonus.

Anonymous said...

I was ambivalent about the origami monster, especially when it turned out to be an actual origami monster (rather than something you'd call that). But if it's written by Brennert, I'm excited.

I may have to go find my own copy, in fact.

Side-note: Not a good sign when the Creeper, or any Ditko creation, really, calls you a "weirdo."

Josh said...

I had this comic as a kid. It was freaking AWESOME. And the orgami monster actually manages to come off as scary (well, at least to a kid. And maybe even Tusker, when he isn't staring at MILFs).

NoRegrets said...

Where could I get a copy of this?? Origami monster!!!

NoRegrets said...

Never mind - found it on ebay... Thanks! Gotta get this for my brother.

Bill S. said...

This looks like a monster that would be terrorizing Morrison's Doom Patrol, maybe as a member of The Brotherhood of Dada. As far as I'm concerned, high praise indeed.

Blockade Boy said...

Jon: And like your typical mother-figure, she's wearing a sassy, pleated mini-dress.

Gyuss: There's a lot of bonus with this comic! It'll be nice to show y'all stuff that's weird in a cool way and not weird in a lame/stupid way.

Anonymous: Heh. Excellent point about the Creeper.

Josh: Yeah... re-reading it, I thought the origami monster looked kind of goofy, and his speech patterns were a bit much, but what's still creepy to me is what he can do, and the fact that you're pretty much helpless if he grabs hold of you.

Noregrets: I'm sure you won't regret this purchase, pal!

Bill S.: I was thinking the same thing! Except that politically, it's at the opposite end of the spectrum. Although the Brotherhood was elitist in its own special way, I guess.

Scipio said...

I know not this Alan Brennert (our records of this era are spotty at best,due to the Great Crisis). Is it possible he is a worse writer than Gerry Conway...?!

Chawunky said...

Well wow. The origami monster's no slouch in the gams department either. And are those shoulders or Romitine shoulder pads?

Blockade Boy said...

Scipio: I personally think Brennert is way better than Conway (not that it would take much). I'm having trouble thinking of anything else he's written, though. I know he penned the Black Canary story in "Secret Origins" #50, if that helps.

Chawunky: He shops at the same men's store as Nightcrawler!

The Fortress Keeper said...

Brennert wrote an awesome issue of Brave & Bold that paired Batman with the Robin & Batwoman of Earth-2 and one of my favorite stories of all time where a despondent Deadman is consoled by the spirit of Kara Zor-El on Christmas!

Scipio, you're missing out!!!!