Monday, May 05, 2008

J'onn J'onzz, Playa From Mars

yl84martians

The Martian Manhunter's "bachelor capsule" is in a geosynchronous orbit, and is equipped with all the latest alien-babe-snagging devices. There's the Living Loveseat, which contracts into a tulip shape when triggered by certain pheremones; the chlorine-fog machine (an aphrodisiac for many species; pure poison for others, so choose wisely); and, of course, the vibrating pillow with blinking hypno-light button.

The belly-baring gal hopes to get J'onn to play "policeman" with her, since she wants him to yell "Hands up!" and she's not wearing a bra. (Also note how the arrow on her belt buckle subtly points to the location of her unearthly genitalia.)

10 comments:

Bill S. said...

Frank Sinatra's version of "It's Not Easy Bein' Green" is playing on the hi-fi as J'onn pours the absinthe; the emerald liquid runs slowly, sensually over the sugarcube, gently disolving it, and then dripping into the tumbler below. He then drops the spoon, with the remains of the sugar, into the glass, seductively stirring it as he grinned slyly at the recumbant woman looking over at him. He hands her the vessel and she lifts it to her lips.

"You ever ride the green fairy?" he asks her, only to immediately regret his choice of words. The absinthe shoots out of her nose as she chokes on her laughter, a situation that is even more painful than it sounds.

Needless to say, there was not a second date.

Stephen Rader said...

Hopefully J'onn will be able to get him some before DC gives him the fire treatment for the final time.

I like J'onn. I hope they don't kill him but everything I've read makes him think the Martian Manhunter is not long for this or any of the other 51 worlds.

Nepharia said...

Hey that Living Loveseat sounds kinda nice...although my alien of choice for such activity would be Darth Maul.

Comixbear said...

"That's right, Flo. We will never part. I am going to merge you into my body, then go off to boink that green woman standing over us. She's talking, but it's obvious that I'm not supposed to hear her so I'm going to just continue injesting you."

http://comixbearbarecomix.blogspot.com/

Jeremy Rizza said...

Bill S.: Haw! That beats anything I could have come up with!

Stephen: That's how Countdown should have ended: all the characters DC is planning to (temporarily) off, in a sexual free-for-all.

Nepharia: Heh. The "bad boys" get ALL the action! As for the Living Loveseat, just don't feed it after midnight. You can get it wet, though.

MaGnUs said...

One smooth marshun. Where's the lava lamp, though?

David Lawson said...

I don't even want to know where Zook fits into all of this.

Dean said...

Zook watches.
The scary part is when J'onn brings in the octopus- "Sorry, baby, I thought you were cool."

Blockade Boy said...

MaGnUs and Dean: J'onn had to throw it out when he discovered the "lava" was actually a voyeuristic Protean. Martian lovemaking is so damned bizarre, everybody likes to watch!

David: Zook's wig is removable and can be used as a contraceptive device.

MaGnUs said...

Ah, I know that lava kind of feeling. :>