Thursday, May 08, 2008

So THAT'S What Happened to My Throw Pillows


Dig those crazy shoulder pads! From her outfit, I gather she's a stripper by day, and a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers by night. Also, she may moonlight as a hair model.

Isn't she being a bit much? (Yes. Yes, she is.) I think if you presented Joan Crawford or Krystal Carrington or even Typhoid Mary with this shoulder pad design, they'd ask you to "tone it down a tad." But just think of the storage capacity! She could pack a whole 'nother outfit in one of those puppies. (Might I suggest a tasteful pant suit?) And maybe she could use the other one for her toiletries -- including the scads of hair-care products she obviously requires. Also, a couple of spare tampons. And maybe some "Armor All."


Bill S. said...

Is it just me, or does it look like her entire arm is backwards?

Also, we see another advanced case of Ditkohands in silouette. Either that or the stripper's kicking Bela Lugosi's ass.

I'm sorry, even Crystal Gayle would recommend a haircut when your hair is so long, your high heels can trip up on it.

Gus Casals said...

C'mon BB, look at that flat chest...we are talking major drag queen here, which would explain the shoulders... ( let's face it, an actual 90's female character without huge bazookas is a man in drag ).

More seriously ( more seriously?? ), looks to me that we are not talking shoulderpads but really bad shoulder dislocation. Or simple very bad anatomy drawing.

Skeleton Munroe said...

What with the stiletto-ish heels and all I like to think that the next panel featured her falling flat on her face. That is not a position condusive to the maintenance of balance.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh man, she is messed up and I'm talkin' Amy Winehouse-class messed up. Clearly she's hopped up on something or having a roid rage, her arm's burned away into a charred stump, and her bra strap came undone and her mams are about to flop out.

captain koma said...

That and the fact that I think she's peddling a bit of ass crack there.

But to give her some credit not many women in comics knee blokes in the family jewels.

I'd like to see you do a few posts on that.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Bill S.: A big, fur-covered HAW! to your "Bela Lugosi" remark. To get your hand like that, you must be double-jointed, or Hungarian, or a Wildstorm character.

Gustavo: You may be onto something. I was going to suggest that she was a female bodybuilder whose rack had been smushed down by all the steroids, but the skinny arms and legs torpedo that theory.

Jonathan: True, but she's in a comic book, and all stiletto heel wearers in comics have minor levitational powers that help them keep from tipping over.

Jon: But just think of the song she could write about that!

Captain Koma: The only other one I can think of is Lois Lane, circa 1986. She even got a mention in "Time" about that, and they phrased it in a way that suggested she just goes around, kicking dudes in the 'nads, willy-nilly.