Now that's what I call a bathrobe! It's a beaut. A real "Sunday-go-ta-meetin'" kind of bathrobe. You wouldn't take that thing into the john with you, no sir! And you couldn't go to sleep in it, either, 'cause you might roll over onto your side, and then the collar would shatter and the pieces would cut the holy bejeebus out of your face. And I'm pretty sure they're made of asbestos.
This delightful garment was worn by Karate Kid in "Legion of Super-Heroes" #288, (June 1982). Artwork by Keith Giffen, back in the brief, glorious time before all his characters looked like chainsaw sculptures. And yeah, the implication in that story is it's a ceremonial robe or somethin' along those lines, since his girlfriend Princess Projectra was about to be crowned Queen of the Entire Freaking Planet of Orando. But I think it was just a bathrobe, and that Karate Kid (the Keven Federline in this situation) told the higher-ups there, "Hey, I'm the future queen's boyfriend, assholes, so I'm gonna wear whatever shit I want to wear, and you are gonna suck it!" Hell, the robe probably has "PIMP" spelled out on the back. In rhinestones.
Now, maybe you think I'm being silly about this. "How can this fancy, uncomfortable thing be a bathrobe?" you ask, the corner of your mouth twitching with impatience for my shenanigans. And I would say, yes, it doesn't look comfortable! Yes, it does look like it's about to eat him alive! But check out what folks on Orando call an "easy chair."
I rest my case.
6 comments:
You just know he has to strut a la John Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever" when he walks in that thing. Not because he feels like doing it, but because he HAS to. To do otherwise would look ridiculous.
Haw! Y'know, I bet the Orando coronation theme sounds a lot like an all-horn section version of "Stayin' Alive." Or perhaps "Lady Marmalade."
God gravy. So, I gather an Orandoan toothbrush would be two feet of exquisitely balanced molybdenum, wrapped with delicately knotted platinum wire and inlaid with psi-gems wrested from the grip of dying Khundian emperors.
Right?
word verification: "Tddvtor!" the name for such a toothbrush.
Oh, and the bristles are unwound strands from the horn of a newborn Kryptonian rondor, fabled for its disease-curing radiations--perfect for really getting at that plaque.
Chawunky, that guess is so spot-on, it's scary. Also, their toothpaste is dispensed from a device the approximate size and shape of a circus carousel, the operation of which requires a team of eighteen people (of whom at least eleven must be contortionists).
It's a little known fact that Theodore Geisel and Rube Goldberg were Orandan.
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