Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Like A Thing Unto Cashmere

blockadesantahead Do you know the best part of any issue of "Power Man & Iron Fist"? It's not the non-stop action or the playful banter or the complex characterization. It's the gowns. The pretty, pretty gowns.


Here's Colleen Wing, enjoying a formal dress freakout in "Power Man & Iron Fist" #70 (June 1981). Colleen's gown has the elegance required for an evening at the opera, with just a hint of wanton sluttiness that's just perfect for an intimate night at the local sex dungeon. Everyone who's anyone wants this gown! Top-knotted immortal sorcerors, tattooed male ballerinas, dirty hippies (with utterly gorgeous biker 'staches... er, but I digress) and of course, Angela Bassett. In fact, the only one who isn't interested is Captain Kangaroo, and that's only because Colleen just put a stiletto heel in his left eye. Yeeeowwch! But it was too late for him anyway, because Clint Eastwood just used his lasso skills to rope hisself a prize filly! Thar'll be some tender cuts o' veal fer his vittles tonight! Yeeee-haw!


Baubles, bangles, and BAZOOMBAS!!! Here's busty Harmony Young, who's so enchanted with her gown that she doesn't mind at all that the giant disembodied head of her lover's old girlfriend floats above her noggin at all times. (Although why the old girlfriend is wearing little packets of allergy medicine for earrings is beyond me.) Harmony's gown has a generous slit (just like Harmony!) that gives her an unprecedented freedom of movement and 24- hour E-Z access to her cooter. Harmony has accessorized the look with a selection of rubber bands, Lance Armstrong "Live Strong" bracelets, the beaded chain from a pen at the bank, and some of those little zippy plastic deals that come off the lids to milk cartons.

Tomorrow: menswear!


Anonymous said...

coleen's boots are the same style but different lengths.

the hell is that about?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

There's a pun in here somewhere about living in perfect Harmony. Give me a minute.

Scipio said...

"coleen's boots are the same style but different lengths.

the hell is that about"

To balance with the dress slit, silly; have you never been a superhero shoe store? They're a standard!

Anonymous said...

"Harmony's gown has a generous slit (just like Harmony!)"
I couldn't believe you wrote that. Gave me a good snicker at the end of the day.

Unknown said...

Coleen changed samurai fashion forever!

Anonymous said...

Harmony's gown has a generous slit (just like Harmony!)

You bastard! You made me spit my thermometer across the room!

Chris Sims said...

The thing I like about that first image is that the cover to that one says: "Watch for the JOLT on Page 11!" And really, is that really all that jarring?