Monday, February 05, 2007

This Is Why I Don't Use the Changing Rooms at Old Navy

bbwhitestachehead When I found this comic, I showed it to Jeremy and asked him, "Can you believe you bought this over ten years ago?" He didn't give me an answer. He just stood there, looking quietly destroyed. So I asked him why he wasn't saying anything. When he still didn't reply, I asked him if he wasn't talking because he's thirty-eight and his crappy, neglected body is just kind of slowly falling apart while I am so youthful, I haven't even been born yet. Still no answer. So I asked him if he was being so quiet because he was living in the same sad one-bedroom apartment he'd moved into in 1996, around the same time he'd bought this comic, and how it really got him to thinking about how his life hadn't moved forward one inch since then. And then started screaming some kind of gibberish that I couldn't really make out and he was pounding on my mighty chest with his puny, wizened fists, and the gist of it is he kicked me out of his apartment. But I managed to take one of his credit cards with me! And this comic! So now I'm writing this post at a Fed Ex Kinko's. Also, I hear Jeremy contacted a realtor and is looking for a house. Thank God. Because I could really use more room for all my stuff.


Shoplifters will be eaten to the fullest extent of the law!

Miss Gypsy Trampy Thief there is really rocking the Buckskin Chic look. Haven't heard of it? Oh, that's right. It's due for popularity in 2011 when President Russell Means divides the former United States into two nations: New England, and Turtle Island (which is everything west of New England). It's certainly a more flattering look for her than that tacky Wonder Woman costume. And we're talkin' the even uglier John Byrne version of the costume, with the two big lazy-ass stars on the trunks (because Byrne-boy couldn't be bothered). Feh! We'll get a better look at her costume tomorrow. And wait 'til you see how the guys dress! Rrowr!

1 comment:

Phillip said...

"Miss Gypsy Trampy Thief"? [applause].