Thursday, May 24, 2007

Artificial Hair Transplant

lwa71gogotail

"Honey, a huge envelope filled with hair just arrived for you! Do we know anyone who's being held for ransom?"

For some reason, I'm picturing horses on a conveyor belt, being fed into a machine that snips their tails off. (Then it's off to the rendering plant!) And I love that the long, blonde braid ends in a handlebar mustache. But the little 'stache really ought to have an equally dainty Meerschaum pipe dangling from beneath it. Or perhaps an adorably miniature frothy stein of German lager (or a micro-brew)! Huh. I'm getting kind of pissed about their negligence, now I think about it. The fuckers! Honestly, they just should have turned over the entire ad campaign to me.

8 comments:

Pita Pocket said...

I'd just like to know how the hell these people can offer custom color matching for only $1. That is fucking nuts!

Justin Garrett Blum said...

I don't understand products like this. I mean, if I'm clean-shaven today, and tomorrow I show up for work with a giant, luxurious handlebar mustache, people are gonna be like, "Bu-whaa--?" Who are you trying to fool?

Then again, being able to pick up, say, a color-matched handlebar moustache for a $1 would almost be too good of a deal to pass up...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I can turn my hair into a handlebar like that, but not the hair on top of my head.

The hair on my chest, of course.

Crowded House said...

To Jon: I'd pay good money to see that. Cash money.

Blockade Boy said...

Pita: I think this was a scam run by some creep who just wanted people to send him their hair.

Justin: Blame it on time travel. Works for me!

Jon: Not sure where you were headed with that for a moment.

Crowded House: Me too! Only you're not allowed to use your hands.

MaGnUs said...

Crap, where did my comment go? I thought I'd posted one about my own handlebar mustache and my fork beard.

Blockade Boy said...

Well, I certainly haven't seen it. Blogger must've been acting up. Try, try again, I say!

MaGnUs said...

Nothing mucho, I was just mentioning my very smashing handlebar 'tash, which is now joined by a fork-style beard.

And as the rescued Annihilator, the only costumes I can pull of are with masks that cover the lower part of my face (a la The Shadow, which I did for last Halloween); or musketeers and pirates (which I did for POTC 3 the other day).

I just love costumes... but I won't be caught dead using the term "cosplay". :>