Monday, October 15, 2007

He's Got a Juice Box, and He's Not Afraid to Use It

glga107holditheroes

This is from "Green Lantern" #107 (August, 1978), back in the days when terrorists enjoyed dressing up in fun costumes. And the name of this buttery brute's gang? The Yellow Peril. That's just wrong on so many levels. The art's by the always-solid Alex Saviuk and John Celardo, but I have some problems with the Yellow Peril Liberation Army (or whatever) standard-issue costume. Mainly? It's slathered with ornamentation, and all of it's meaningless. They have the Atari logo on their face masks because... why? And then there's the cracked-out palm tree/moth thing on their shirts. Their undies look nicely reinforced, though. That's a good idea, if you're going to go around pissing off fishnet-stockinged judo experts.

My other problem is more about the gang's whole concept. They've taken over the airport in Coast City, wearing yellow bodysuits and wielding a yellow detonator, because "it's rumored [Green Lantern's] ring is powerless against anything yellow!" So, not only is their whole strategy related to one of those goofy arbitrary weaknesses so many superheroes are saddled with (don't get me started), but it's founded on scuttlebutt and hearsay. Naturally, Green Lantern responds to Osama Banana Laden's assertion by shoving his cousin, Air Wave, into a huge energy trampoline, and bouncing him into the terrorist's solar plexus, fists first. But still, it would have been even sweeter if Green Lantern could have just said, "Powerless against anything yellow?! What are ya, high?" And then he could have spent a good twenty seconds or so just pimp-slapping the jerk with a giant green energy hand.

16 comments:

Vegeta said...

Maybe the Atari logo and Yellow costume is about libertaing Pac-Man from something?

Gyuss Baaltar said...

I miss the days when terrorists identified themselves with clearly defined uniforms.

Made things much easier on airport screenings.

"You, over there in the green jumpsuit, are you a terrorist?"

"Hail Hydra!....er...no...I'm just on my way to a Jack Lalane convention"

(and BB, four dramatic reading entries? I gotta get crackin!)

Bill S. said...

The whole yellow bit only works, of course, when they're fighting the hero who actually is powerless against yellow. Otherwise all they're going to get is a canary cry to the face and a brief glimpse down Black Canary's cleavage. Hell, maybe that makes it worth it to them, I don't know how these terrorists think!

Johnathan said...

I sure hope that there are still terrorists in the DC Universe that are operating on this sort of info. "Haha, Guy Gardner! Clothed thusly in yellow, we *oof!*"

Hilarious!

Blockade Boy said...

Vegeta: And the Yellow Peril Ladies Auxiliary is dressed in the same outfits, but with big pink bows on top.

Gyuss: HAW! (And please, do get cracking on the dramatic readings! You rock at those!)

Bill S.: And heck, Green Lantern could always arm himself with a can of spray paint. Bonus: he gets to "tag" the bad guys after he kicks their asses.

Jonathan: And then they'd go find the Calculator and beat the crap out of him for providing out-of-date info.

Stephen Rader said...

Dare I suggest that the yellow might mean they're into "water sports?"

Nah... since those undies don't look like they have an "easy access flap."

Blockade Boy said...

I suspect those jaundiced speedos are riveted directly to the terrorists' crotches. Which might explain why they're yellow in the first place.

MaGnUs said...

Spray paint? No, no. The yellow weakness was very easy to get around most of the time.

"Thusly clad in our yellow... OW!"

Green Lantern uses his ring to lift a silver 747 and use it as a bat to clobber the stupid terrorist.

Blockade Boy said...

Yeah, but spray paint is quicker. Especially if you aim for their eyes.

Anonymous said...

A quick skim through the superhero handbook suggests that the best solution to this problem is to ferry in a mob of angry Japanese-Americans to pound the snot out of the Yellow Peril men for being so horribly offensive.

Blockade Boy said...

I like the directness of that solution, too. Why bother with a lengthy and expensive class action lawsuit?

MaGnUs said...

I prefer the 747-bat, myself. Very Guy Gardner. Say, BB, what do you think of Guy's uniform?

MaGnUs said...

I prefer the 747-bat, myself. Very Guy Gardner. Say, BB, what do you think of Guy's uniform?

Blockade Boy said...

(You're baiting me with that question, aren't you? Okay, I'll bite.) Guy Gardner's uniform: I loathe it. Mainly for the turtleneck. But I despise his buffoonish bowl haircut even more. Why more artists can't just leave it as a flattop or a crew cut is beyond me. And no, giving the bowl cut a backstory in the old Justice League comics did not make it any more palatable for me.

Accursed and half-amnesiac Interloper said...

"giving the bowl cut a backstory in the old Justice League comics did not make it any more palatable for me."

They what? Oh my sometimes I complain about my bad memory, but you've just now made me see it for the blessing it is. Thank you, thank you, Blockade Boy!!

MaGnUs said...

The double post was a mistake, but it served its purpose.

I hate the bowlcut too, but he's changed it lately. But the costume I like.