Wednesday, November 21, 2007

...And Next, the Lady Natural Underarm Turn

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When your panel layout requires more arrows than a mambo instruction chart, that's a good sign you should just erase the damn thing and start over.

...Admittedly, the way I've cropped this picture makes it resemble one of the instructional pamphlets* that I give to a date whenever he seems to have no clue as to how our foreplay should go. I prefer using the pamphlets, really; it saves me from having to strain my voice screaming commands at them. ("NOW RUN YOUR HAND OVER MY BEARD! SLOWER! SLOWER, GODDAMN YOU!!!") Mind you, a lot of my dates seem to enjoy getting screamed at, but one doesn't want to wake the neighbors.

*Popular titles in the series include "So You Want to Make Love to Blockade Boy", "Blockade Boy's Junk for Dummies", "Three Hours to a Happier Blockade Boy", "The Little Cub Who Could", and "How Did I Get Here, and What's Going On?"

5 comments:

Justin Garrett Blum said...

Or they can just visit the About.com webpage dealing with this topic.

Blockade Boy said...

Or they can just go to the most comprehensive website on the subject: Blockapedia.

Chawunky said...

Bwah says I, to the first sentence of this post.

Adroitly deployed.

(I expect that's a not unsought compliment during your dates, come to think of it.)

Blockade Boy said...

Heh. Especially during my robo-dingus period, when it was accomplished by the whirring of servo-motors and hydraulic pistons.

Anonymous said...

I think it's a terrible sign of the nature of the modern Internet that I actually checked to see if blockapedia.com has been registered.

It's a wonderful sign, however, that you recognize the absurd complexity of the page layout. And I agree completely with Chawunky on the matter.