Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving, or Whatever


As previously stated, we don't have a Thanksgiving holiday here in the glorious 30th century, but I figured I might as well "give thanks" for some things... y'know, as a gesture of solidarity with (some of) my 21st century pals.

Let's see...
  • I'm thankful to all of my readers, with a special shout-out for everybody who took the time out of their lives to work up costume designs for yours truly. You didn't have to do that, and I really appreciate that you did.
  • I'm extremely thankful to my identical ancestor, Stockade Boy, for giving me his body. Especially the dingus part. No more robo-dingus! From now on, the only oil for my pecker goes on it, not in it!
  • I'm thankful that Eyeful Ethel helped me evade a draconian United Planets law about space piracy by creating a new civilian identity for me. Even if it's pretty much turned me into "Mike Murdock" and none of the hipster doofuses out there (i.e. Phantom Lad) respect me. Eh, screw 'em.
  • I'm thankful to have a regular job. Again, that's thanks to Eyeful Ethel. Sadly, my grief over Weight Wizard's demise has manifested itself as a rampaging sex spree... which, in turn, has maxed out my credit cards with charges to all the best man-whore brothels on Lallor. But that's hardly Eyeful Ethel's fault.
  • I'm thankful that Storm Boy has cleaned himself up, dropped a ton of weight, and has gone from being an irritating rival to a merely exasperating pal. And I'll be thankful if this "Ox" guy he's allegedly dating turns out to be a real person and not a blow-up droid, or -- the Luck Lords have mercy! -- an actual ox. I asked Eyeful Ethel if she knew anything about "Ox". She told me that although Storm Boy is quite explicit about their sexual encounters, she can never glean any information from his babblings in regards to Ox's real name, occupation, home address, or physical appearance. The suspense is killing me! The Blockade Boy, he is frustrated! Grrrrr...!
That's not a bad list. I mean, I'm still hurtin' for cash, but other than that, I'm in terrific shape. Especially physically! *peels off top of costume and strikes several weight lifter poses for your edification and enjoyment*

Happy Thanksgiving! Or whatever!


Anonymous said...

FYI, evil versions of Storm Boy and Tusker appeared in Action Comics this week. They're not too interesting looking, but I thought you might want to know (if you don't already).


Jeremy Rizza said...

Thanks for the heads-up, Phil! For what it's worth, I've already seen the "evil" version of Storm Boy, back when he was about two hundred pounds heavier, tailgating my time bubble, and hacking into my blog (two April Fools Days ago, your time). And I've just posted about "evil" (?) Rainbow Girl on the cover of that upcoming Action Comics.

MaGnUs said...

We're thankful for all of your prolific posting, BB. And man-whores? I thought you could get any (non-straihgt) man you wanted at the bat of an eyelash, or flex of a bicep!

Jeremy Rizza said...

Re: the man-whores, the issue is my current need for quantity (vast, boundless quantity) over quality. I mean, I'm good, but even I can't seduce guys fast enough and in large-enough groups for my liking! (Even that biker gang I once made love to, I had to beat the crap out of, first.)

MaGnUs said...

Ah, I knew you couldn't let me down. No, seriously, let me down on the floor right now.... I just like you as my friend and mentor.

Anonymous said...

I'm thankful for drunken Iron Man and his presumably drunken writer!

I'm also thankful I get to comment on posts like weeks after the blog post. Even if the odds anybody'll read this drop like a rock. Woo-hoo!

No, seriously, because we don't say it enough, thank you for giving us all some great artwork and costume designs, insight into truly awful old comics, and tales of futuristic derring-do of you and your crew. Pirate, Private (Eye),, I got nothin' else that sounds similar. Pilates instructor, maybe? Well, whatever your title, you've provided us with a lot of fun.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Thanks, Anonymous Pal! Comments to my posts are automatically e-mailed to me, so at least somebody reads 'em. And I appreciate that you took the time, even knowing that it might not get read.