Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Beloved Local Stripper-Gram Service Falls On Hard Times


Excerpted from the article in "Invisible, Inc.: The Business Journal of the Gotham Underworld", Vol. 29, Issue 7 (July 1978):
...sliced from the man's groin, and turned into a coin purse.

Marconi's remaining employees have fled for greener pastures. With the current vogue for sexy henchmen, many of them now work for high-profile entrepreneurs, including Oswald Cobblepot, Edward Nigma, and Selina Kyle. The rest have assumed new identities, in hopes of escaping the Caraldo Family's wrath. (See sidebar for an identity conversion chart -- including the names of their spouses, children, and pets -- and a complete list of their new addresses.) Marconi's Old-Fashioned Stripper-Grams is now a one-man operation.

"Time ta go ta woik," sighs Marconi. With trademark Marconi shamelessness, the 72-year-old yanks his polyester trousers and adult diaper off, right in front of me. He does this in a single movement. Despite his palsied hands and arthritic arms, the movement is flowing, explosive, with the grace of a toreador. He fetches a black-sequined ensemble (with matching diaper) from the wall. On a rack, next to his famous mink, is a rain slicker. He pulls the modest coat over his bent, spangled frame, camouflaging his showy ensemble. He ducks into his prop room, and emerges with a large, flat box, made of cardboard. He offers the box to me. With a wink, he asks, "Who ordered da pizza?"


Unknown said...

Sexy henchmen delivering pizza.

I know someone who fits the bill perfectly.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Synth-Lin...! Wow, it's been a while. Thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

Well. That's the last time I accept a dinner invitation to an antiques store. Pizza delivered by a septugenarian pornstar wannabe in a bad part of Gotham? Pass.

Jeremy Rizza said...

But they needed your help inventorying the commemorative spoons--!