Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Live, From Lincoln Center, an All-Star Tribute to "the Tub's" Calculator

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If I didn't know better, I'd almost think he did that on purpose.

Check out the shoes! That heel! That buckle! ...In between panels, the balding hipster douchebag who grabbed Tub's calculator must have handed it to a metrosexual Pilgrim/Luddite. With height issues.

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It was awfully nice of the Thirty-Something Gang to spread themselves out behind Tub, so widely and evenly. (Although, they could have used two more members, for Stripey Tank Top Guy's side.) This panel would have made a good George Perez cover. Crisis on Infinite Calculators!

...Aw, jeebus. This is going to turn into a musical number, isn't it? Before we know it, the gang is going to start swaying back-and-forth, and slowly raise their arms in the air, as Tub hoarsely brays an elegiac "power ballad" to his busted toy. And more and more background characters are going to join in, with people doing somersaults, and flipping themselves off of lamp posts, and doing the Charleston atop moving cars... and then the Gotham P.D. swoops in with their helicopters, thinking it's a riot, and tear-gasses the whole lot of 'em.

4 comments:

Johnathan said...

This "pick on Tub" thing is *heart-rending*!

Poor big, calculator-lovin' guy...

Blockade Boy said...

I seem to recall an old Newsarama interview with Dan Didio, where he said that giving Tub a calculator was a "mistake", and something he intended to "rectify."

Anonymous said...

Given that it's a Denny O'Neil story, I'm going to have to guess that you're right. A dance number is pretty much obligatory at this point. Remember what happened with Green Arrow, after all. And the Sand Superman.

Oh, and Didio will be giving the story (actually a year-long daily series) to Brad Meltzer, where the calculator is actually The Calculator in disguise and Tub will get into a Yo Momma fight with Dr. Light, after which they'll play Nintendo. Off-panel and told entirely in summary, of course.

Narration will be provided by the thirty-somethings in mind-numbing Technicolor caption boxes.

It'll also feature a Tub fully redesigned by Alex Ross, who demanded that his landlord eat sixteen pies over the holiday to make sure the new design was creatively appropriate.

Ironically, the character looks the same except for a scar over the left eye. And a Lulu's Tub's hat.

Blockade Boy said...

"Narration will be provided by the thirty-somethings in mind-numbing Technicolor caption boxes."

While sitting down.

(Also, I think most of Ross' characters are already shaped like Tub.)

Those are some genius comments you got there, by the way. Do you blog? 'Cause if you don't already, you should consider it.