Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Sphinx in Pink

dc480strongaspythons


dc480lungsstarving



Big Pink up there is throttling Batman so hard, his head is emanating pork gravy! It's a manly miracle!

So... who is this guy, anyway? Since he refuses to introduce himself, it makes his mystery all the grander. Is he a refugee from one of those freakadelic new PBS kids' shows? An early adopter of the German "industrial pop" aesthetic? A once-handsome pajamas-and-goggles model, mutated by a gamma bomb into an engine of pastel destruction? I'm tantalized!

I personally think it would be awesome if he turned out to be the DC Universe cousin of the John Byrne Marvel villainess, Pink Pearl. Remember her? She was a radical Québécois separatist and circus "fat lady", and she wore a pink dress? And later on, when Bill Mantlo took over writing "Alpha Flight", he kept referring to her as "Pretty Pearl", probably because Marvel's lawyers finally realized that "Pink Pearl" is a brand of eraser?

Or maybe he's just a metaphor for Catwoman's clitoris.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gravy On!

Yeah, it's like Batman's part of a culinary Fantastic Four!

Note that the Human Gravy Boat also has a lot of neck. Try wrapping your own hand (let alone The Nameless Guy Who Looks Predicts Big Sir in Flash) around your neck and pushing your chin into that angle.

He can alternate all four names. The Human Gravy Boat, Mr. Turkey-Neck, the Giblet, and the Low-Calorie Dessert. Mmmm...

Sorry. I've been planning holiday menus for the family.

Chance said...

I love how Batman is dying, here, and still the thing that bugs him is he doesn't know who his attacker is. He's not gonna waste his last goddamn molecule of oxygen on breathing: he needs to ask some questions.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You gotta dive deep for that pearl.

I can't believe I just said that.

Blockade Boy said...

Anonymous: I would so read your culinary Fantastic Four comic/cook book. Would the culinary Fantasti-Car resemble one of those fancy chips 'n dips appetizer trays, or merely a giant Tupperware container.

Chance: It's perfectly in character for him, too: a detective to the end!

Jon: Heh.