Monday, December 03, 2007

"I'm the Goddamn Pizza Delivery Guy!"


Mmmm... piping-hot fish sticks, delivered straight to your mob hide-out, by the Gorton's Fisherman himself!

Since this panel is from "Detective Comics" I'll give you exactly one guess as to who the delivery guy is. ...What? Hell, no, it ain't the Elongated Man! Wow! You suck at this!

Okay. Here's what I don't understand about Batman's "sting": none of the mobsters are surprised to see him, which indicates to me that they really did order a pizza. So... what? Does Batman constantly monitor the phone lines of pizza delivery places, hoping that one of them will get a call from a suspicious address, by somebody with an Italian accent? (Profiling!) Or -- and this would be even better -- does Batman advertise in the Yellow Pages as a pizza joint? He would have to check the phone numbers of every call he got, and just flat-out refuse to deliver to any upright citizen. Which sounds needlessly jerky, until you remember that Batman is a total dickweed. And then it all makes sense.

Or maybe the real delivery guy is just off-panel, with a batarang in his skull.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wait, so that's Batman in disguise?

Wow, he's the master of disguises. Way better at them than Artimus Gordon, that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

Given Wayne Enterprises diverse holding, Batman probably does own a pizza joint in Gotham. He probably used the profits from store to help fund his never-ending war on crime.

The question is, what other take-out places does he own? Because you know as well as I do that the Joker is more likely to send out for Thai food than pizza.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Jon: At least he put more effort into this one than he would in that Gerry Conway story I posted on 6/27/06.

David: I had some WayneTech cheese fries one time. Their flavor hit my tastebuds cleanly and efficiently, with just a hint of sadness.

Nate said...

I think Batman having a phone line that has to be answered and upstanding citizens dismissed answers "What does Alfred do when not delivering tea to Bruce" It's not like being a butler to a single man who's gone all the time can take that much of the day.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Gyuss: Heh. I'm deeply in love with the idea of calling a pizza joint and getting an arch, dry-witted English butler on the other end of the line.

Anonymous said...

Actually, the guy does have an insanely souped-up car and pretty much lives in his parents' basement. I'm thinking "Wayne Industries" is code for his actual job.

Hm. Maybe Alfred isn't so much "butler" as "dude his parents finally threw out." He's still definitely the guy who answers the phone, though.

Jeremy Rizza said...

That assessment of Batman is pure genius! I'm tellin' ya, whoever you are, you need to get a blog! Or at least start signing your posts, so I know whom I'm complimenting. Seriously, you've got the comedic goods.