Monday, February 25, 2008

...But His First Love is the Ballet.


The Australian super-hero, "Blueflyer"...
  • ...can run at super-speed!
  • being haunted by the ghost of a giant manta ray. But SHH! Nobody say anything. He's kind of sensitive about it.
  • ...has a sports bra to keep his man-boobs in check.
  • ...wears that helmet because he's skunk-ass drunk on Fosters' twenty-four hours a day, and he crashes into shit a lot. A lot.
  • ...has the ability to manifest a glowing blue energy-vagina through the intensity of his own horniness.
  • ...wears both regular "tighty whiteys" and Doctor Manhattan's old Speedos over his super-suit! The layering does nothing to disguise the fact that he's hung like a mole rat.
  • ...does a killer Mick Jagger impression.
  • ...never got around to fixing that overbite.
  • ...really has to use the bathroom, like right now.


Bill S. said...

Ohmigod, that is hideous!

Nate said...

...and got that belt buckle before every 8 year old girl went around texting about their BF's.

Now when you see him you don't think "Blue Flyer!" you think, "How intimidated am I gonna be by Best Friend?"

Gus Casals said...

Seems to me Rob Liefeld was moonlighting in Aussie land, cause this guy has serious problems with his anatomy.
Or maybe it the way his super speed manifests....someone remembers Butch Guice's legs for Flash when the Wally series launched?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

If I ran at super speeds, I would probably wear a helmet, too. Keep the bugs out of the eyes.

The rest of the outfit, well....

Jeremy Rizza said...

Bill S.: Naturally, I had to share.

Gyuss: Now I'm picturing "Best Friend" and a life-size "My Buddy" doll in a cage match... to the death!

Gustavo: Oh, yeah...! They were very supermodel-y, weren't they?

Jon: Sure, but would you wear that helmet? (Answer carefully.)

Anonymous said...

Stealing Britney Spears' "boob tube and camel toe" look?
Shame, Australia, SHAME!
I can remember when we had REAL fashion plate heroes in this country, mate, like Niteside and The Rock! Niteside's costume was made of Ectoplastique, and would change EVERY PANEL, although generally she ended up looking like Gene Simmon's little sister. And Rocky rocked the bald-with-a-ponytail thing YEARS before Rob Liefield came along. And their friend Forge, the Technocrat had this leg-warmer and take-me-home boots combo that just SCREAMED 80's prostitute.
--Lord Morgue

Jeremy Rizza said...

I ran into Niteside and the Rock while I was researching Australian heroes. Talk about a dysfunctional relationship!

Anonymous said...

It's the old story- boy meets girl, girl meets satan, girl destroys various capital cities, boy travels back in time to kill girl but only succeeds in creating an alternate timeline where he becomes Captain Stoneman, girl throws Earth into the Sun, makes the Sun go nova, destroys Heaven and Hell, boy realises it doesn't really matter because he loves her so much anyway. (sniff) And they say romance comics are dead...
--Lord Morgue

Jeremy Rizza said...

That's so totally ripped off from Jane Austen. :)

MaGnUs said...

God, that's just awful!!! Not just the design but the anatomy!!!