Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Liar, Liar, Hat on Fire
Look, it's Captain Atom!
No, the first one. From Australia!
Wow, this is turning into a theme, isn't it? Another Australian hero, another flamboyant hat, another sad effort at hiding a boner with some prop -- in this case, a hyperbolic "blurb box". I know that Australian men are uber-butch and all, but what the hell?! Do they all have boners, 24-7? On second thought, don't answer that. On third thought, please do. And be sure to support your argument with photographs.
I don't know what Captain Atom's deal is. I presume he's atomic-powered. One thing I know for sure is that his hat is dopey-looking and on fire. That explains why all those teenage girls are taunting him, and why he's running around like a rabid dingo. Seriously, how do you piss off somebody so badly that they set fire to your hat? And the fact that the flames are blue indicates that the afflicted haberdashery is hotter than hell. What did they use as fuel? Phosphorus? That is some serious anger, folks. Is Captain Atom the victim of a really bad breakup? Or is he just a total rat-bastard summumabitch? If it's the latter, maybe this thing happens to him all the time. At any rate, he's certainly taking it well. Of course, if you're enough of a bad-ass to rivet your clothing to your body, a little flaming hat isn't going to make you lose your cool.
Final verdict: stupid costume, but it's worn by a hard-core Aussie manly-man. You tell him to take it off. ...On second thought, allow me. *winks lasciviously*