Monday, March 24, 2008

Scratching the Underbelly (by Blockade Boy's Pal, Gadfly Lad)

Hey, people! It's me! Gadfly "Eli 'Tater' Bugzz" Lad.

I just thought I'd better let you know: blogging will be spotty and brief for the next two weeks, exactly. What does that mean for you, the blog consumer? It means that my blog posts will happen at odd hours, and that they'll skip days, and that they won't say all that much. Sorry. It's the life of an undercover agent, don't you know.

Those guys who wanted me for "the operation"? Yeah. It turns out they just wanted to sell me a discount shin-lengthening surgery... which would have been performed in the back of a space-van. I told them "HELLS NAW!" and then I gave 'em both a shock to the shammies! 'Cause that's how Tater rolls.

Oh! One other interesting thing. You know how I'm working a trivia game hustle? The first five games I tried, I got disqualified for not answering the questions in the allotted time. I mean, I would be talking, but I couldn't get to the core of the answer before they'd sound the buzzer. So, I had to learn to cut out all the fascinating details that I normally enjoy lavishing on people. Which sucked, because I love prefaces, corollaries, footnotes and addenda, just as much as any right-thinking individual. Well, last night, I was talking up a bar maid, and I found myself editing what I said, just like I had been doing with the trivia answers. And the bar maid didn't do that thing that girls usually do with me, where their eyes lose focus and they get all fidgety and they start humming a song and rocking back and forth and then they say some real bad swear word and then they get up and walk away without even saying "goodbye", the crazy weirdos. Nope! Her eyes were all sparkly and she wouldn't stop smiling and I wondered if maybe it was a trick, since an undercover detective always has to be on the look-out for femme-space-fatales. But when I made my move, she just put her hand on mine and said, "I'm sorry; I don't date short guys." Dang it. Still, it was an interesting development.

Let's have a cover from Storm Boy's comic book collection!


Wow, that guy can fit an entire old-timey Omnicom (from the 2980's) in his mouth! (Just like Storm Boy!)


LurkerWithout said...

Bar games. Is there anything they CAN'T teach you?

Bill S. said...

Is there anything they can't teach you?

Um, French? Because French is hard, yo!

Also, what is it exactly the "house date" -- love that term, by the way -- is sticking in his mouth? An oversized wedge of brie on a stick?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Brie on a stick, now there's a bar food.

Bill S. said...

What kind of bar?

Johnathan said...

One of them newfangled cheese bars, I reckon.

MaGnUs said...

There you go, Buddy. Just edit.

Jack Norris said...

It's especially creepy the way they're taking him off what looks like the edge of the world into some purple-pinkish void.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Dang, now I wish Gadfly Lad would find me. I want a piece of that ill-gotten space-cheddah! (On a stick.)

MaGnUs: Just like you, I'm rooting for the li'l feller... to get rooting! Heh. I'm sure he'll appreciate knowing there's another mightily-bearded man "in his corner", as it were.

Jack: And I love the convoluted Kirby couch, which looks like something you'd find at Doctor Doom's garage sale.