Friday, April 11, 2008

You're Invited!

Hey there, fellow vengeance-lovers! This is Calorie Queen, the public relations officer of the Blockade Boy Revenge Squad, with a special invitation, just for YOU (and whomever else is reading this right now)!

How'd you like to meet the Squad, IN PERSON? That'd be super-cool, am I right? Well, now's your chance! Just show up at our "mixer", this Saturday night, starting at 7 PM. But I can guess what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Calorie Queen, it's always been my dream to meet you; I remember your days as a Beat the Living Crap Out of You League Diva, like that time you got Sun Woman in a headlock, just using your thighs; and also, your boyfriend sounds pretty bad-ass as well, I can't wait 'til the two of you get married, 'cause that'll be like the most awesome wedding, like EVER, like, maybe you'll 'kiss' by smashing two monster hover-trucks into each other, and the train on your gown will be carried by trained BLITHS, man, and it'll just be SO GREAT! But here's my problem: I don't even know where your secret headquarters EVEN IS!"

Relax, pal! For starters, we're located right here in Lallor's planetary capital, in the south-southeast sector, so THAT should be easy enough for you to find. And if you need for me to get more specific? Well, here's a map:


We'll have pizza and fizzypop and EVERYTHING! And all YOU need to bring in order to get in, is ten individually-wrapped slices of space-cheddah. (Have I mentioned that this is a fund-raiser? ...I haven't? Oh. Oops.)

See you there!


LurkerWithout said...

This is an idea that CAN'T POSSIBLY GO WRONG FOR THEM! There is NO CHANCE at all of an unusually hirsute "Space Cabbie" showing up...

Also why is it only cheddah that can be used as money? Shouldn't the mozzahella ALSO serve as valuable currency? You should TOTALLY be allowed to pay for stuff with a pizza...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Is she gonna squeeze another chick's head with her thighs there? 'Cuz if she is, I think that I just may have to show up. You know, for science's sake. Right.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Lurker: "An unusually hirsute 'Space Cabbie'...! Haw! And you know me, I LOVE Space Cabbie! But I've got something even better in mind. You'll see...!

Jon: I'm just having a hard time imagining any other women entering that building at all. Maybe one of Calamity King's skank/beards?