Thursday, May 25, 2006

Stop, Or I'll Squirt!

Trick or treat for UNICEF! From "West Coast Avengers" #26 (November, 1987) it's Taurus, a member of the criminal organization known as the Zodaic. I don't know what the deal is with that gun, charitably referred to on the next page as a "star-blazer weapon" but I do think Taurus should return it to the silver age Atom villain he stole it from, post haste. Also? Taurus needs to lay off the meth. Seriously. Of course, I'd be a wreck, too, if this was my team:

human zodiac

Not exactly the cover of All-Star Comics #3, is it? And they let the crab guy run the meeting? I would have turned that freak away at the door. Get out of here with your big claws! And the Dogpatch-style spandex... I didn't think that was even possible. Went a little nutty there with the pinking shears, huh?

This meeting is not going well. Cancer clearly clearly could learn a thing or two from "Toastmasters." Check out the body language on the other eleven members. Virgo and Scorpio have zero interest in anything Cancer is talking about, Taurus and Aquarius are about to doze off, Aries is so nervous he's worked himself up into the initial stages of a major heart attack, Libra's neck is killing him, Leo is anxious because he's about ten minutes away from losing his deposit on that lion costume he's rented and also the 'roid rage is kicking in, Gemini has the mother of all sinus headaches, not one but two members have been reduced by boredom to playing "Pull My Finger" and the only one who seems happy to be there?

Is this guy:

I have no idea who this is

And that's because it's better than his last gig, which I'm guessing was a Space Ghost cartoon.

Tomorrow: the new and only marginally improved Zodiac!


joncormier said...

I made an "I'm with Cancer" Civil War Banner a little while ago - odd that he's showing up here.

Sorry for the mooching in your comments section.

Bully said...

That guy in the first panel...

Papa? Papa!


Steven said...

See that? That right there?

That's why I love my fake internet friends.

A refugee from the 30th Century posted something, and a little stuffed bull responded.

If only the demented Master of Magnetism or either of citizens of the fabled city of "George's Town" would respond as well.

cozmic said...

Damnit Blockade Boy get out of my comic collection. This whole run of West Coast Avengers is an infinite well of cheese but damnit I love them.

Note to self. Do not eat while reading Blockade Boy. I spit yogurt on my screen. My co-worker leaned over and said I should wear a condom if I'm gonna do "that" at work.

Constantine P said...

LOOK OUT, IRON MAN!!! He's got a bottle of Thierry Mugler "Angel" attached to a garden hose fixture! Unless you and blondie want to smell like chocolate cake for a month, you'd better do what he says!

Anonymous said...

Blockade Boy, your commentary on this Zodiac-festooned panel of comic art was absolutely hilarious. That picture cannot be looked at the same way again.

This human version of the Zodiac were such a bunch of tools. They had lame weapons, like Capricorn's horns that could grow and wrap people up, and Cancer's pincers which were, like, unbreakable, man! And as you pointed out, they dressed horribly.

The android Zodiac rocked some much better costumes and powers. Check out West Coast Avengers annual #1.

Crowdedhouse said...

I'm assuming that the Zodiac committed crimes by making people laugh uncontroablly by dressing in stupid costumes vaguely related to the zodiac and then pulling off said crimes while the people were still paralyzed with laughter. Good Lord. I sincerely hope that the West Coast Avengers put bags over their heads when fighting them to preserve whatever dignity most of them still had.

By the way, the guy you can't identify is (I think) Capricorn, because what better way to say "goat" than with a green-skinned Sinestro knock-off who's raided Mockingbird's wardrobe?

Scipio said...

I cannot BELIEVE I am asking this but I can't get it out of my mind:

How does Cancer handle visits to the restroom?

Hm. Very very carefully, I suppose...

Scipio said...

In the DCU, people like this are merely Sinister Sidekicks for people like Calendar Man and Maxie Zeus.