I hear he used to play for the Vikings! From "Thor" #373 (November, 1986) it's the Thunder God's "secret identity," Sigurd Jarlson. Really, Odinson? That's the best you could come up with for a name? How 'bout Lars Kent? Bror Wayne? Hal Jurgens? Dierk Grayson? Jansen Storm, which gets bonus points for use of the word "storm"? Mike Hammer? No, wait, wait... I got it! Chuck Norse!
This is a very simple look for Thor. It was 1986, so I think he really could have worked a cream-colored Italian suit with a sky-blue t-shirt and some nice Nordic-themed silver jewelry. For a slight edge, I'd match it up with some alligator-skin boots. I'd also either keep the hair in the ponytail but slick the whole thing down with something appropriately greasy, or undo the ponytail and fluff the hair up into a perfectly 80's mane. He'd look just like those brawny, monosyllabic characters who work as bodyguards for the drug-dealing bad guys in 80's action films. Still, I suppose Thor is trying to not stick out of a crowd so the plainclothes thing is a good idea. Although I feel sorry for anybody who tries to help him with that duffel bag. 'Cause it has Mjolnir inside it! "Jeebus, Sigurd, what do you got in this thing? An anvil? I can't even pick it up!" "That's because thou be not worthy, mortal-- er, I mean, don't sweat it, buddy! I'll take the bag, you grab us a couple a' cold ones!" Which reminds me: apparently Thor can talk like a normal human being when he sets his mind to it. (I always knew he was a poser.)
Let's go to a close-up, shall we?
Yikes. I think he might need to cut back on the cortisone injections. Or the cheese fries. Say, fellas, here's some fashion advice I think you might find helpful: if you want to avoid a case of "fat face" like ol' Sigurd here (and you're not already fat everywhere else) try not to do all of these things at the same time:
- Have a large, fluffy hairstyle.
- Grow a big, bushy beard.
- Wear enormous, cheek-covering aviator spectacles.
- Be drawn by Sal Buscema.
In "comics nerd learns to appreciate football" news, Jeremy watched the Vikings/Redskins game. He decided to root for the Vikings since he liked their uniforms better. And they won, barely! Some of the adorable tyke's observations:
- When a Redskins player crumpled to the ground in a non-contact injury at kickoff, he said "That's why you don't wear five-inch stilletto heels in a football game."
- On the news that Minnesota starting safety Dwight Smith had been "deactivated": "Ah, so he's kind of like the Vision... if S.H.I.E.L.D. had caught the Vision doing something indecent to a lady in a stairwell."
- Darren Sharper, with his hyperbaric chamber, invited comparisons to Jack Of Hearts. And neither of us could figure out why the chamber looked like a cross between a sleeping bag and a cartoon race car.
- In the fourth quarter, Washington incurred a five yard penalty for an "incidental facemask." Which is a good description for this thing. Y'know, when the eyeholes are that big it renders the mask completely ineffectual, Schumacher.
- Going by ESPN's preshow graphics, certain players have the ability to glow radioactively and grow to half again their normal height, then shrink back down again, all in a matter of seconds. Jeremy hopes the league is testing their urine for Pym Particles.