'Sup, daddios and dudettes? (Oh, I'm the unparalleled master of your ridiculous 21st Century slang!) It's me! Remember? No? C'mon! It's Storm Boy! Remember? I'm Blockade Boy's handsomer, more talented, infinitely less hairy rival! Oh, that's right. I changed up my look from last time. Before, I had brown hair and a fu-manchu with a soulpatch, and some way-out sunglasses. So now I have gorgeous red hair and some sweet-ass "S"-shaped muttonchops plus a bigger soulpatch. And goggles! I dreamed up the great idea to push them up on my forehead. Isn't it cool?Anyway? I just wanted to let you all know about my latest costume redesign. It's for Star Sapphire! Let's take a look at the "before."
Ya-awn! Bor-ing! There is not nearly enough cleavage exposed. What is she, a nun? Yipes stripes! (21st century slang!) She needs my help!
Therrrrrrrre we go. My fabric choice? Sherwin-Williams "Orchid Fantasy" hi-gloss housepaint. Yup, this ensemble is quite literally "painted on." I skillfully blended the painted areas with a few accessories like the high-heeled sandals. Plus, the collar and the tiara? Is made from some rusted-out hunks of tin siding. Economical! Bottom line: I think this is much more flattering on her body. And? It features one of my signature motifs: pointiness!
*waves away your resounding applause* You're welcome.
13 comments:
Holy crimenely! That's one hot tamale! How does she keep from busting out all over the place?
...
It's nice to see you made her go for the full Brazillian.
Errrr...if she ever starts running...or even walking...or perhaps take a BREATH, she's in biiiig trouble.
So the ring can protect Hal from everything except yellow and bad taste?
I'm always willing to supprt females being nearly nude.
But why did storm Boy rip off my hairstyle?
Brilliant!
Yeah, I thought that was a Storm Boy design. I has a certain... awfulitude.
It, rather.
Arrghhhh! Blockade Boy, come back! We need you now, more than ever!
I think everyone is right -- she starts moving and the whole thing is going to fall apart. Granted, the men in the room may not care. However....
The design is not faulty, although the material may be -- try liquid latex next time (and NOT the sherwin williams kind). It's a little more durable.
See? Your time has finally arrived, BB...
That first panel; wasn't it an ad for an Elizabeth Taylor perfume?
My God, he's fatter than ever! And ripping off not one but two of my previous looks! Y'know, Storm Boy, I'd punch you in the mouth but I don't want to get chocolate frosting on my hands.
Scipio: I think you're right! It ended with Star Sapphire sashasying into a high-stakes, terribly Europe-y poker game. She tosses the jewel from her tiara onto the table and purrs, "This has always brought me luck." Then the gem vaporizes all the men in the room and she sweeps all the money off the table and into her designer handbag.
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