Friday, January 26, 2007

In Space, the Neighbors Can't Hear You Scream

bbwhitestacheheadIn "Iron Man" #142 (January 1981) the Armored Alcoholic slips on an experimental new suit "designed for outer space action!"


Of course, we're talking about professional skankhound Tony Stark here, so "outer space action" has an entirely different meaning. In fact, Stark has many other euphamisms for "outer space action"! These include...
  • "Repairing the Hubble"
  • "One giant leap for my manhood"
  • "Doin' it Dalek-style"
  • "Jettisoning the booster rocket"
  • "Going supernova" (wait a minute--! That's actually one of the Human Torch's euphamisms. My apologies.)
  • Crashing the moon rover"
  • "Opening the pod bay doors"
  • "Checking for Tribbles"
  • "Penetrating the wormhole"
  • "Clearing the launchpad"
  • "Tang" (just "Tang")
  • "Shootin' Greedo"
  • "Testing the effects of radiation on bean plants on behalf of a sixth grade science class" (yeah, I don't get that one either)
  • Aaaand, of course...
  • "The Big Bang"


Uh-oh! Looks like somebody prematurely shot their space-wad, huh? That's okay. I'm sure she won't mind if you just cuddle for a whle.


Tony Stark Iron Man said...

I regret nothing. Alien Babes are hot well not Brood Queens . Not even I've been that drunk.

Steven said...

Looks like somebody prematurely shot their space-wad, huh?

So much for "Iron Man" being a mark of stamina.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

What about "Launching photon torpedoes?"

Oh wait, that would be for a different body function.

Marc Burkhardt said...

Materializing the TARDIS?

Chance said...

In these uncertain political times, iron man needs an updated set of euphemisms:

"Laying down the law"
"Planting a spy in the enemy camp"
"Performing the Superheroic Registration Act"

and, of course, once his side loses and he finds himself a friendless outcast, it'll be back to:

"Polishing the helmet"

Nepharia said...


Don't knock Ironman...he's hot. Had a fling with him one Winter -- was enough to melt all the snow within 4 feet of the cabin. There was no ice fishing that year...just too dangerous.