Thursday, July 26, 2007

Earth vs. the Flying Boozehound


Before the advent of notebook computers, air travelers had to use briefcases to cover up their socially-inappropriate boners!

So, assuming he's not waggling that red pen as a symbol of his constrained dingus (a true martyr for our time!) what is he's doodling? Is he...
  1. Figuring out a way to maximize his own brooding?
  2. Plotting his route to the airport bar (or Marianne's vagina)?
  3. Drawing a mean-spirited, racist caricature of the Mandarin? (Admittedly, the Mandarin already was something of a racist caricature.)
  4. Sequencing the DNA for what will be named "Scarlett Johansson"?
  5. Diagramming Marvel's "Civil War" crossover, inadvertently creating a mathematical formula which proves there is no God?
  6. Inventing the world's first voice de-activated bra clasp?
I'm stumped! What do you guys think he's scribbling?


Dave said...

Well, it started with an outline of that report for the Senate sub-committee, but once Tony's hormones kicked in, he quickly covered the rest of his legal pad with little hearts, stick-figure drawings of his harem, and a series of drawings that not only develops the concept of the smiley face, but extends it into something not unlike modern "emoticons". (He's a futurist don'tcha know...)

Plus, a sketch of three martini glasses and a cocktail shaker.

Anonymous said...

"Tony + Tony 4ever." In a heart. With a thirty-pound pacemaker attached to it. Drinking century-old scotch.

Sleestak said...

Marrianne was driven insane by Tony. I think she is still institutionalized.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

He just kept writing her name over and over:

Marianne Rodgers
Marianne Stark
Mrs. Marianne Stark
Marianne Rodgers-Stark
Marianne Rogders-hypen-Stark
Mrs. Tony Stark
Ms. Marianne Stark
"Honey Nipples" Rodgers

Jeremy Rizza said...

Brilliant stuff, all of you. (I especially loved "Tony + Tony 4ever.")

Anonymous said...

Tony's just lucky he, Marianne, the plane, and indeed a large part of the continental shelf beneath them aren't crumpling down into the singularity at the heart of his briefcase...

(The thing is massive but largely empty, luckily...)

(That is his tesseractive armor carryall, yes?)

MaGnUs said...

"... three parts vodka, then a zest of lemon. Shake vigorously, serve chilled."

Voila! I, Tony Stark, have created the Iron Man, a new drink that everybody will... wait... I'm too pissed to think... oooh.... stewardess!!! Another drink!!!!

And yes, that's his armor briefcase, but when not activated, his armor is like fabric, something to do with electric activated self-hardening fabric or somesuch.