And I'm "Blocky, the Mentally Frazzled."
It turns out "Fly Man" #31 isn't the bottomless well of inspiration I'd taken it for. Oh, it has a "bottom", alright -- namely, the Spider's puffy, jelly-stained, be-pantalooned bottom. But I've been staring at pages and pages of crazy shit, like the Black Hood's dopey robot horse, and the Comet's rainbow-striped pith helmet, and a last panel where the Spider directly addresses the reader from inside a garbage can, and I can't think of a damn thing to say about it. Sure, Siegel wrote this stuff as a kind-of intentional parody, which makes it harder to mock, but I feel equally blocked when I look at an old Marv Wolfman "Spider-Man" comic.
Sorry, dudes.
Maybe I'll feel better on Monday.
12 comments:
I found this site all about the Mighty Crusaders.
It's... sort of entertaining. (Check out the mind-scarring Photoshop artwork!)
I've had hours of entertainment kicking ideas around for how someone could salvage a fun super-hero universe out of this dross. I wonder why noone has bothered?
Boppo, Flipsy, and Basher better watch their step in case mean old MacGregor is attending the party.
As to the MLJ/Archie heroes themselves, they usually suffer a restart every ten years or so, then flop. MLJ only made it out of the war by focusing (exclusively) on Archie and company. They skipped the '50s, but they were brought back in the '60s ("Radio Comics"), '70s ("Mighty Comics," if I can oversimplify), '80s ("Red Circle"), and '90s (DC's "Impact"). I know there have also been at least two proposals in the last ten years (one was even advertised in Archie books), keeping the record somewhat intact.
I'm guessing Archie isn't as interested after the Impact debacle, which I liked, but it sounds like nobody else did.
That's cuz Marv Wolfman's run on Spider-Man was awesome!
I know no one else in the world agrees, but for some reason that run left my impressions of Spidey for many years to come.
How DARE they threaten Majel Barrett and Hercule Poirot?
"a kind-of intentional parody, which makes it harder to mock,"
How t.f. does THAT work??? It not only gives you a head start BUT ALSO makes the material infinitely more worthy of mockery. Cruel mockery! Mockery that makes tears gush from the eyes and Pepsi-cola from the nostrils!
Here's Jerry Siegel, in the 1960s, just rubbing our faces in how he does NOT give a shit about creating dramatic tension, plus that he can't even be remotely funny about failing to do so, and you're telling me this makes it MORE difficult to mock his alleged "efforts" ??? This ... this is ... WHO ARE YOU and what have you done with the real Blockade Boy ???
BB, I know this panel has nothing to do with the current topic, but I though it'd make you happy.
Could this be the end of Blockade Boy?
Tune in next week to find out!
Dave: Dude! That site is awesome! (In a cheeseball/horrifying way, natch.) Thank you so much. It really cheered me up.
Anonymous: First of all, genius Beatrix Potter reference there. Kick-ass! And yeah, it's a shame nobody cares about these characters, 'cause they'd be a goldmine for somebody like Mike Allred or Bob Burden. (Or Ben Edlund, if he was still in the comic biz.) I think the Mighty Comics gang can be presented with a light touch and a sense of fun, but without descending into farce like Siegel did.
Gyuss: I brought up Wolfman because his writing (and that of his contemporaries) often had an overwrought, soap-operatic quality that is easy to mock. I'll get to the difference between his writing and Siegel's when I address Interloper.
Scipio: Maybe Nichelle Nichols sent them to finish her off once and for all! Poirot was there by mere coincidence. But I'm sure he'll solve the case in his usual manner, i.e. one reeking of droll asides, hair fixatives, and expensive mustache waxes.
Interloper: Blockade Boy's drugged body is hidden away in the pod from which I sprang.
Kidding.
My problem with mocking a parody is that it's just not sporting. It would be like a movie critic making fun of "Airplane" -- or for a more precise comparison with the "Mighty Comics" line, "Date Movie." Yes, "Fly Man" is stupid, but on a certain level, it's supposed to be stupid. That takes the wind out of me when it comes to criticizing it. And it doesn't help that I've got a lot of non-blog-related problems on my mind right now. Nothing life-or-death; just money troubles. So I'm having difficulty both concentrating on blog writing and justifying taking the time out of my day to work on this. Not that I'm going to stop, so don't worry about that. I'll figure out something.
Also, I had a revelation last night while watching a commercial for one of those "ironically crappy" Adult Swim shows that those hipster douches keep shitting out: ironically intentional crap is still crap. So that was helpful when considering "Mighty Comics." Still, I'll probably stick to Marvel and DC for a while.
MaGnUs: Thanks! It did make me smile. ("What a man!")
Jon: This would make for a pretty sorry ending, wouldn't it? Naw, I'll be fine.
"...one of those 'ironically crappy' Adult Swim shows that those hipster douches keep shitting out..."
Why did that single line make me so happy? It was like a moment of clarity.
Sorry to hear about your troubles, BB. I'm right there with you, buddy.
"in his usual manner, i.e. one reeking of droll asides, hair fixatives, and expensive mustache waxes."
The very manner in which your own blog is written!
"Yes, "Fly Man" is stupid, but on a certain level, it's supposed to be stupid. "
That's exactly the kind of comics I would write, very badly, if I was a burnt-out and talentless hack. Which, come to think of it, is exactly why I don't write any comics, and is also exactly why those comics should never have been written, drawn, lettered, edited, or published! Because sucking on purpose is not the same as not sucking. I'd mock them myself, if I had a sense of humor, but for that, I rely on you! ... (glowering ominously) or DID, until NOW!! (shakes fist at screen, adjusts baggy costume, waddles away muttering darkly).
Bill S.: Thanks, man. And I think that line was such a beauty because I was able to access my sometimes-elusive reserves of bile and resentment. Dang, I'm over-analyzing myself again. (Why is that?)
Scip: I prefer to think that my blog doesn't reek of those things, but is, in fact, redolent of them.
Interloper: Relax, pal. Take a deep breath. Look at this spinning hypno-coin. There, that's better. I was thinkin', maybe you'd feel better if your costume fit. Get thee to a tailor! It's totally worth it. And hell-- while you're out, why not treat yourself to a pedicure, and a massage, and a cool new haircut? Just make a day of it!
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