The Australian hero, "Blackwing"...
- ...suffers from symbolic hallucinations that represent his illiteracy.
- ...didn't listen to his mum when she told him, "If you keep making that face, it'll freeze like that. (Now, finish your Tim Tams, dear.)"
- ...has an intravenous drip of illegal steroids next to his bed, for use during both sleep and sex.
- ...forgot to treat those papercuts earlier, and now they sting like a motherfucker.
- ...bought those fake-ass wings at Hop Topic, and he wears them everywhere. Even to funerals! It's upsetting to me.
- ...styles his hair with Crisco (butter-flavored, natch).
- ...has pyrotechnic farts.
- ...has thighs so big, they can wear belts made for fat guys.
- ...lives in an outback town with only one library. And it only has humongous prop books imported from Gotham City.
- ...likes to scream obscenities into that walkie-talkie he carries around on his waist... but here's the deal: there's never anybody on the other end of the line. The poor screwed-up bastard.
- ...once made out with an emu. He told his friends he was drunk at the time. But he wasn't. He totally wasn't.
7 comments:
And evidently he hangs out on the roof of some warehouse, fighting the zombies hands that spring up out of it.
That's not a warehouse! That's the giant prop book from Gotham!
I want to work in that library.
Holy cow, you're right!
That could be the Necronomicon. A BIG Necronomicon.
In Soviet Russia, Evil Dead raise Necronomicon!
--Lord Morgue
The zombie hands are also from Hot Topic. He just stands there all the live-long day, waiting for someone to take his picture.
In Nomine has a lot to answer for...
Bill S.: Just be sure you have a good chiropractor. (Lifting those massive tomes are hell on your spine.)
Jon and Lord Morgue: Ia! Ia! Kangaroo Fthagn!
Jonathan: Or sketch him! He needs to pack all that shit up and get his ass to a convention or sumpin'.
Dave: Heh. It sure looks that way!
Post a Comment