Monday, November 06, 2006

Legion Of Substitute Costumes: Chlorophyll Kid

bbhead100906 The Legion of Substitute Heroes' roster is composed of dedicated young men and women with powers too lame to qualify them for the Legion of Super Heroes. (I know what you're thinking: they're lamer than Bouncing Boy? Sadly, yes. Hell, my power's lamer than Bouncing Boy's. It's a bitter pill to swallow, I must admit.) But so what if the subs are a bunch of goobers! With my help, they could at least be stylish goobers!

Take Chlorophyll Kid, for instance. Here's the Kid in action, displaying his own special brand of incompetence.


I know he's a mite chunky, but did he really have to dress in a green Hefty bag? With cutesy little leaf shapes on top? And a photo-realistic tree on his chest? Here's how I would have styled him:


(After putting the lad on a strenuous diet-and-exercise program, natch.) Did you know that the Kid has leaves for hair? It's true! I read it in "Secret Origins." If I were him I wouldn't hide that freaky shit; I'd cultivate it. So I'd give the kid a groovy sixties-style mop-top and matching muttonchops, and then I'd make him ditch that bag of lawn clippings he charitably calls his "costume" for a nice form-fitting number with leafy details on the chest, boots, and cape. See, I figured I could suggest a leaf with the vein-like ribbing and the shape of the cape, without resorting to just slapping a picture of a plant on the costume.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

What is that guy thinking? "Oh look, it's a plant monster, guess I'll just make him bigger. Doop dee doo, oh no, he's chasing me!"

Anonymous said...

Looks like Chlorophyll Kid went on the Ted Kord diet. He looks good. Though, is it just me, or is that outfit a little homoerotic?...with the veins and all...

Maybe that's just the one hour of sleep I got last night talking.

Gloria said...

The green hairdo (leave-do?) with muttonchops is an escellent improvement.

So why if he can't join the Legionnaires... he could make a fortune using his powers to develop an extrafresh brand of tooth paste.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Jon: I think the Kid is from the same "I Have Almost No Control Over My Own Powers But What The Heck I'll Use Them Anyway" school as a lot of LSH rejects.

Justin: "Ted Kord diet." Haw! Side effects may include unexplained alienation from your friends and being murdered by a trusted colleague.

Gloria: Thanks! And you're right about how he should use his powers. Heck, he'd even be an excellent spokesman for anything minty.

Nepharia said...

"Did you know that the Kid has leaves for hair?"

So how does he become his alter ego to protect his secret identity? Walk around as a punk rocker?