Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Magenta Beach Towels Are The New Black

blockadesantahead In "Eternals" #5 (December 2006) Ikaris and Thena are so dynamically wonderful that they can barely be bothered with disguises. Ikaris chose a brown trenchcoat, which is the best thing to wear when you want to send the subtle message "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M INCOGNITO!!!" (These garments are normally accessorized with a humongous "Spy Vs. Spy" sun hat, itself a great attention-getter since nobody in their right mind ever wears one.) Better yet, Ikaris didn't even bother buttoning the coat. Naw, he's rockin' it Gambit-style. But Thena has one-upped the levitating Lothario by simply draping a beach towel over her head!


Here are some other disguises Thena considered:
1. Groucho glasses
2. A sauce pan with two eyeholes drilled into it
3. Rainbow wig
4. Dr. Who scarf
5. Indian chief headdress
6. Hammer pants
7. Big foam cowboy hat
8. Hula skirt and coconut bra
9. Exact same suit of armor, only in bronze
10. Admiral's hat, made out of a strategically-folded newspaper
11. Oversized papier-mache version of her own head, like they wear at Carnival time
12. Romper Stompers
13. Rubber Frankenstein mask
14. Lee press-on nails
15. Those headband deals with the antennae on them, usually they end in big plastic stars or something and they kind of bobble around because they're on springs, you might see them at a little girl's birthday party, I don't know what they're called
16. Hotpants
17. Top hat and cane
18. Milk mustache
19. The front half of a pantomime horse costume (and Ikaris gets the back half)
20. "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt


Anonymous said...

Here's a disguise I'd like to see more of: nudity.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

21. Oversized stocking cap the fits over your eyes but has eyeholes cut out.

Or you could do what Dr. Who always did, whenever the villain's henchmen would march past, he would always flatten himself against the wall and remain unseen.

Jack Norris said...

Back in the early 80s when I first remember those antenna-things appearing, they were called "deely-boppers" (spelling could be off, I don't recall seeing it written down, and it could have been "deely-bobbers, but everyone pronounced it "boppers").

Scipio said...

"2. A sauce pan with two eyeholes drilled into it"

In the DCU, those work.

"12. Romper Stompers."

I just LOVED Romper Stompers...

Nepharia said...

Oh, what about those BCG's ("birth control glasses" for the uninitiated) that Superman wore? Those ALWAYS fooled Lois.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Justin: Happy to oblige! *shrugs off Santa coat and begins to unzip pants*

Jon: That technique has gotten me out of many a jam!

Jack: I'll be darned.

Scipio: I'm still waiting for a Red Tornado/Forbush Man team-up. Or did one happen already and I missed it?

Nepharia: Haw!