Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Are You Troubled by Restless Subplot Syndrome?

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As if Iron Man already couldn't handle one emotionally unstable psychic whack-job, here comes Marianne! Oh, JOY.

Here's what would have made her part in this comic about a hundred times better: if Young Gerry Conway had dispensed with that scene of her having that knock-kneed brainfart at the Bates Motel or where-the-hell-ever and just had her run from the airport directly into that alley. He could have interspersed the boring "Danger! Budget Death Ray!" plot with panels showing Marianne sprinting alongside the airport shuttle bus, and then down the interstate, and through the suburbs, past famous attractions (maybe all the way up and down the stairs in the Washington Monument) until finally she arrives at the end of the comic. And the whole time she could just be having a fit, flailing her limbs and hollering, knocking stuff out of bystander's hands, Ron Burgundy-style, and generally making a nuisance of herself.

I mean, that's how I'd have written it.

9 comments:

Stephen Rader said...

Hell to the Yeah! I'd buy that.

It'd be better than COUNTDOWN and I'm still buying that!!! Oy...

Siskoid said...

Wait, she's telepathic? I guess I misread her entire character.

Superman said...

She's the Jean Loring of her universe.

Blockade Boy said...

Stephen: You're still buying COUNTDOWN? Well, I guess the first step to overcoming a problem is admitting that you have it. :-)

Siskoid: Well, she's clairvoyant, anyway. But mainly she's just spastic and annoying.

Blockade Boy said...

Superman: Does that mean she'll wind up killing the Invisible Woman and then get possessed by, I dunno, a Soul Gem or sumpin'? Or maybe some chunk of Kree crap? There's always some power-bestowing Kree mineral or machine lying around. They're worse than pot holes!

Dave said...

Young Gerry Conway sits at his typewriter and tries to find an empty spot in the overflowing ashtray to put out his cigarette.

It is 4 AM, and the dialog needed to be done yesterday. He hopes that the artist figured how to turn his cocktail napkin sketch of Demitrius into something cool.

He scribes:

"TIME -- the ARBITRARY SEQUENCE of EVENTS, made of DRAMA... is RUNNING OUT! Now here comes a NEW EVENT..."

"A girl... named MARIANNE--"

Anonymous said...

"A thousand voices. One of them is Tony's. He's asking me if I'm wearing a bra. He's...oh, no, it's hideous--ooh, a VW van! Lady Umpire, have you seen a dapper drunk stumbling around here?"

I guess we're lucky. If you had asked me, how is Conway going to get Marianne back into the story, I would've put money on "she just shows up in the middle of a fight with no lead." Touche, Young Gerry Conway.

So, are Mystic Quotients just as good as regular quotients? Like, if I'm doing my taxes and have to divide stuff, can the answer be "Time"?

On the other hand, don't answer that. I probably shouldn't take mathematical advice from someone calling Mmarriannne another character when she's been in this story since the beginning.

MaGnUs said...

Landmarks? Suburbs? No, remember, DC is just the Washington obelisk, the White House, DCA, Congress and crop fields.

Blockade Boy said...

Dave: That explains a lot about Young Conway. The shift key on his typewriter stuck!

Anonymous: Maybe Marianne could have emerged from of that wood-paneled dumpster/outhouse. Really, he could have just written every Iron Man story like an old "light gun" video game, with Marianne randomly popping up in Iron Man's line of fire with no rhyme or reason, before suddenly vanishing again.

MaGnUs: Heh. Good point. I should know better than to bait the Nitpicker with inconsistent continuity!