Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Blockade Boy Committee on Unheroic Activities


Now that Young Gerry Conway has been sworn in, the interrogation -- er, I mean, "inquiry" can begin!

Why did Tony and Marianne (or "Marrianne") never get "that chance for reconcilliation?" They had just arrived at an airport, and by plane, for Pete's sake! You don't land at an airport and then just merrily be on your way. It takes forever to get out of one of those hellholes. Wouldn't Tony and Marianne have run into each other at the luggage carousel? Or the parking garage? Or the little place that sells nachos?

Who is this Senator My Seventh Grade Haircut guy and what is the deal with his orange word balloons? Is it supposed to be a clue? Is he the Vision's flabbier, phlegmier brother? When he talks does it sound kinda tropicale (French!) like you can hear steel drums in the background? Is he morbidly afraid of contracting scurvy, and he's ingested so much vitamin C that it's coloring everything that emerges from his body? (When he sweats -- which is often -- he resembles a low-impact Gatorade commercial. And when he poops it looks like a Play-Doh Fun Factory!)

When is Tony going to realize that brooding about brooding is Spider-Man's bag, as the aging, Social Security-draining hippies like to say, and not Iron Man's? Tony's so far out of character at this point he might as well shave off the mustache, quit his high-paying job, move into a crappy little apartment and just sit there, not banging devastatingly beautiful honeys for the rest of his life. And finally, what does his hand smell like? (I'm guessin' it's a combination of "English Leather", Wild Turkey, and that white-panted guy.)

Well? Explain yourself, Young Gerry Conway!


Oh, you've written yourself into a silent panel, eh? Tusker, hustle this crumb-bum outta here! What's that? Oh, I'm letting you walk alright, Conway... on the plank! *deep, throaty laughter that devolves into a coughing fit*


Chawunky said...

I have this horrible suspicion the orange balloons are mere example, snuck in to slowly orient we simple readers to the coming color-coded word balloon system that the steadily increasing proliferation of dialogue will necessiate.

Anonymous said...

No, I think I see. The word balloons are orange and black. Other than the bomber jacket, what's Tony wearing? Orange and black.

It must be the Halloween issue, explaining why Marrrrrrrianne is dressed like one of the Fantastic Four!

All that remains is to understand why Gerry Conway missed the box marked "treat."

Dave said...

Tony, if you're worried about a Senator asking embarrassing questions in a committee, maybe you shouldn't dress like an extra in The Sopranos. Black shirts under business-wear always "make the man", so to speak.

The Fortress Keeper said...

What the heck is a blackwash?

Chance said...

Blackwash is a cross between Blackmail and hogwash. Do I get a No-Prize?

My guess is the writer, or letterer, or someone, started one word and forgot what word it was by the end of the line and started a new word.

Blockade Boy said...

Chawunky: Heh. Because with all the characters reduced down 'til their about as big as the head of a pin, it's the only way we'll know who's saying what!

Anonymous: Either that, or the whole thing is one big April's Fools.

Dave: And you should see how pointy his shoes are!

Fortress: It's what happens when you give your friend one of those trick soaps from the page with all the novelty ads on it.

Chance: There was probably a whole page of script between "black" and "wash" and the letterer could feel his hand muscles seizing up, so he decided "the hell with it."