Saturday, January 26, 2008

Once More, With Follicles


Star Boy freaks out over Darkling's unbridled sexfulness: take two! By special kind-of-request by Bill S., I have a whole passel of alternate reaction shots, not by the timid and beardless mid-teens Star Boy, but by the confident and slobber-worthy bearded late-teens/early-twenties Star Boy! (I'm not sure how old he is in these. Damn sliding timeline!) Sadly, only the above picture features his mustache in handsome "handlebar mode."

Let the multi-stage spooge-fest commence!

Stage one: Sits violently upright, spilling absinthe.


Stage two: Imagines doing the horizontal Shurg with Darkling. And then with both Darkling and current girlfriend, Dream Girl.


Stage three: Realizes was talking aloud about stage two. Ignores catty comment from friend who doesn't even have his own penis. I mean, seriously. What the hell?! Cram it, space-eunuch!


Stage four: Logical portion of brain held down and mercilessly pummeled by own horniness.


Stage five: Gives up fighting, "enjoys the ride."


Stage six: Symbolic ejaculation.


Stage seven: Body spontaneously fractures in four-hundred places.


Stage eight: Lengthy recuperation. Tries to rub bits of shattered pelvis against cast.



LurkerWithout said...

You know, I've only read of Starboy in his Robinson appearances years ago. And for that reason the fact that he has energy projection powers UTTERLY surprised me...

Verification: Ayawzho!

Thats some kind of future sex slang isn't it?

Gus Casals said...

Oh my, it's got really hot in here...

This legion ish is really something. Giffen ( who gave SB the beard in the first place ) really outdid himself. The cutoff and the old star shirt...I want myself some of that ASAP.

He also ends up looking sort of dumb...and isn't that the way we want our bearish boy toys?

Thanks for posting this. In your honor, I went and picked up my Legion archive 5 and enjoyed your *choke* appearance there.

Bill S. said...

My very first bear crush. *sigh*

Jeremy Rizza said...

Lurkerwithout: Never say "ayawzho" in front of a woman, unless you want your dingus punched. (I learned that one the hard way!)

Gustavo: Aw, you got Legion archive 5? That's sweet! If only I'd been rocking one of my own beards in that story, as a role model to the hairy youngsters. But my 7/24/2005 post explains what went wrong there. (So many memories!)

Bill S.: And mine was a hover-biker named "Big Red." Still, I can empathize.

Gus Casals said...

Never mind, B-Boy, you looked mighty hot without a beard in that story ( it was thje sixties, only villains were allowed beards. Or scientists. Or villians-scientists ).

The outfit really showcased your fine, manly body.

And you can TELL there is a lot of hair underneath. It takes one to know one ( did you see what my email handle is? "argiebear" ... enough said )

Johnathan said...

And nobody rocks the wristbands like Blockade Boy, my friends.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Gustavo: Aw, that's sweet! I don't have access to your profile (or anything else of yours) though, so I didn't see what your email handle is! Sorry.

Jonathan: Thanks, pal! It's true: Blockade Boy and wristbands are like peanut butter and jelly. We're just a natural combination.

MaGnUs said...

Ah, good old Thom... he had the beard look down way before Riker...