Late last night, a flying robo-messenger crashed through my bedroom window. Without a word, it dropped a bulky envelope onto my furry chest. And then, in typical Lallorian (i.e. crappy) fashion, it spun into the wall and exploded into its component parts. A small oil fire broke out. Cootie, bless her, doused the flames by urinating on them.
Turns out, the missive was from my old nemeses, the Blockade Boy Revenge Squad (or as I like to call them, "The Nancy Street Gang"). They had indeed slipped some kono juice inside my jello salad, as Bill S. and I had hypothesized. Not only that, but a Nancy Street Ganger had trailed after me with a camera, to make a journalistic record of any asinine behavior on my part. They claimed to have taken a whole passel of photos! As proof, they had enclosed a couple of samples. Including this one:
(I'd show you the ones taken from the front, but they're obscene.)
So, I'm giving a hearty, back-slapping "congratulations" to DOCTOR TECTONIC! The clever Doc rightly guessed that my juice-warped brain would gussy up my rude, hairy form in a Storm Boy original gown (the shoes were mine) and make a bee-line for the most conservative pub in the city.
The Revenge Squad wants me to wire them an entire wheel of space-cheddah, or else they'll upload all their photos to the Intergalactic Intraweb. As though I would be embarrassed by any of this. Screw that shit! I've always said, it's one sorry-ass Bear who's so insecure about his own masculinity that he's afraid to "get pretty" once in a while. And you know what? I think I worked that tulle gown! I'm like Ruby Keeler, only hot! And sure, the edges of the gown are razor-sharp, which is admittedly quelle butch, but you wouldn't know that until I got you in a sloppy-drunk Bear hug. That's why I'm uploading all the photos they sent me to the Intergalactic Intraweb, myself! Hell, here's a larger version of the above photo, just for you guys! I WIN, MOTHERFUCKERS! AGAIN! HAW! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *inadvertently hiccups, then belches* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...
Friday, February 01, 2008
Posted by Jeremy Rizza at 5:51 AM
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I demand a recount!
My eyes! Oh, it burns!
Even in drag, you are dashing!
And I like how the outfit really shows your, errrr... ASSETS.
And I like how a bear confident of jis masculinity can afford to do drag shameslessly and not surrender to threats!
I see that I am now destined to have a new wallpaper on my desktop computer! There's nothing better to me than a butch fella who can occasionally put on a gown and pumps and laugh at himself.
(The "photograph" is much more like the older BB drawings, very graphic, yet also organic. I like it a lot! I think the best suggestion won!)
Gives new meaning to look but don't touch...
Y'know, it's really the blood that makes the whole thing work.
...for a suitably broad definition of the word "work". ;)
[Sweet! I'm glad you liked my suggestion! Though some of the other outfits certainly sounded, uh, intriguing. Do you suppose somebody might have snuck a camera into the dressing room while BB was hopped up on kono juice trying on everything under the suns?]
Your Revenge Squad needs to learn the importance of slipping exfoliants into your afternoon pancake batter. I mean pictures of a nekkid or a girly dressed BB? Everyone has seen that?
Pictures of BB hairless like a mole-rat? Thats something to keep away from the eyes of the innocent and guilty alike...
I'm glad (most of) you liked it!
Dr. Tectonic: I may have tried on Gustavo's suggested outfit at some point. We'll see.
Lurker: The fluffy fabric just makes it hard for you to see my manly pelt. Don't fret!
There's yet another makeover for Storm Boy coming down the pike, along with his commentary on his Earth-Geoff-Johns doppelganger. (He's quite contemptuous of the pathetic little bugger. You should hear him rant about it!)
Very nice, sir.
...I kinda wanted to see the tiny robot Blockade Boy...
Great outfit.... *washes back of eyeballs with an aluminum mesh sponge*
check this site out you might want to send some of your costume re-designs to them.
word verification - vgbpoddp
What I said when I saw the pic for this post.
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