- Has "overpants", i.e. trunks worn over tights.
- Exposes the hands.
- Uses a strong color like red in seemingly just one location. (I can't find a color picture of the boots in the costume.)
Gadfly Lad just informed me (with excruciating detail) that Lastikman's costume is "a part of him" and "he can't remove it." Which means there's zero chance of my ham-like hands snaking their way underneath it, to toy with his nipples. Hell, it means he has no nipples! ACK! Excuse me, I feel a tad queasy.
A bonus of the checkered pattern is that it looks great in black-and-white! Yes, even when escaping Playskool's My First Jail, Lastikman is the very picture of super-hero casual chic!
Recently, Lastikman appeared in a one-shot that gave him a fresh new look:
Okay, enough fawning. Let's get to the part where I spray my contempt all over something.
Make way for... MOVIE COSTUMES! Oh, and I know this won't do a damn bit of good, but I'd like all the folks who are complaining about the "Watchmen" costumes to remember these crap-ass Lastikman outfits, so they can get a sense of GODDAMN PERSPECTIVE. I know, I know. Like I should give a shit about what other people think. And normally, that kind of purse-lipped fanboy aesthetic priggery makes me laugh, but the fact that folks are so up-in-arms over what seem to me like some very well-designed outfits... well, it just gets in my goat's craw. I have news for you, fanboys: no super-hero movie is ever going to meet your expectations. It's impossible. So don't watch them! Don't read articles about them. Don't write blog posts about them! Just accept that no studio or director is ever going to film your exact vision of what your favorite hero should be. Don't wallow in negative energy. Move on, get out of the house once in a while, and live! LIVE, DAMN YOU! I'm saying this to you because I care. You're like sons to me! *slaps your bottoms, playfully* Now get outta here, you lugs! Kidding. Come back! I have more things to say! I'll stop lecturing you. Honest. I feel better now. Just had to vent.
...I've been told I may have "intimacy issues." BALDERDASH! *flop-sweats*
See what I mean about movie costumes? And this top doesn't even have as much patterning as the original! On a teeny comic panel, you can get away with go-go chex a-plenty, but on an actual human being, it makes the eyeballs burn. But my main problem is with his haircut. It's really pretty amazing, as it's both unflattering and makes him look like a douche. The Schrute-tastic styling of the bangs giganto-sizes his smooth forehead and says, "Let's hop in my Trans-Am!" while the mini-mullet in the back says, "Only we can't actually go anywhere 'cause it's up on blocks. In my front yard."
And finally, we have the best of a tragically bad lot:
I don't care that they made the checks blue, to tone down the contrast. There's still too damn many of 'em! But mainly, I hate the mask. It's too big! And the way it's designed, it makes his face look like it's all squished down on his head. *takes a good, long look at it* Oh, wait. His face is all squished down on his head! My bad. But still, that's why he should have gone with a smaller mask.
Golly, but that costume looks familiar.