Monday, June 18, 2007

Legion of Substitute Costumes Bonus: Weight Wizard

The crew of the H.M.S. Exquisite has the distinction of including five individuals who were rejected for membership by the Legion of Super-Heroes and one bad-ass Brigadier who could give a space-rat's ass about those stuck-up phonies. Although the Legionnaires have purchased costumes from me and as such are valued customers. What's that, you say? Weight Wizard and Plant Lad aren't on the official list of Legion rejects? Apparently their try-outs were so embarrassing that the Legion didn't even bother to record them! I wasn't there for Weight Wizard's. I found out about the whole deal one day when I came home to find him splayed out on the divan, crying his eyes out. He still refuses to divulge all the details. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure he didn't actually try out for the Legion, he came on to someone in the Legion and got "rejected." Timber Wolf, maybe. Huh. Now I'm kinda pissed.

As I explained in my very first post, Weight Wizard wasn't wearing his costume at the Super-Stalag of Space. That was just a nice t-shirt and cargo pant combo I'd found for him at Old Space Navy. My old 21st Century buddy Jeremy sketched Weight Wizard (and Plant Lad) in some older costumes I'd designed for them.


But that was years ago (my time) and I thought you all might like to see how I'm gussying up Weight Wizard's short, stumpy frame nowadays.


"Weight" + "Wizard" = THIS. I designed it all, including the hairstyle and the nifty scales tattoo. I wanted to make him look a little like a sorceror, ergo the "Doctor Strange" by way of "Iron Fist" feel of it. ("Karate Kid" who?!) The robe hugs his torso via the latest in Colorforms Technology. Cover up the nipples? Not on your life, buddy! I need 24-hour access to those babies! The sleeves are voluminous to support the wizard theme, but the rest of the costume is tight because what little there is of Weight Wizard's body is in fine shape, and also you can't put baggy clothes on a short dude without them looking like a Jawa. And although Weight Wizard is a natural blond, I thought he looked more "mystical" and grown-up with black hair... that had a huge spiked-up purple forelock smack-dab in the middle of it. And yes, although I loves me some hairy chest, it was worth it to get rid of Weight Wizard's chest hair to make room for that tattoo. And the rest of him is still kinda hairy, so, y'know. It's a win-win for me.

I'll get to the rest of the crew over the next week. And I'm allowing Storm Boy to write his own post, which should be... fun. *rubs temples, hoping to stave off incipient migraine*

I've added the "Legion of Substitute Costumes" tag to all my old posts in this category. So instead of having to click on each item in a list, you should be able to hit the tag and pull up every "Substitute" post, including this one. I'll be working on getting every post I've done tagged up, so the tags are actually useful. (A radical idea, I know.)


Anonymous said...

It's cute how you and your crew color coordinate. Most space pirates won't go through that kind of trouble. Maybe they'll do themed eye patches or something, but that's about it.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Hey, I don't like my arm candy to clash with my sweet threads. That's all I'm sayin'. The rest of my motley band can wear... well, whatever I tell them to wear, actually, but the colors vary somewhat.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Looks kind of cold there, too, maybe he should wear a shirt.

MaGnUs said...

OMG... you have out-gayed yourself BB. And I mean it as a compliment.

Anonymous said...

Very nice! WW is lookin' mighty fine in the new outfit. In fact, I'd be hard-pressed to pick which one of you is hotter.

I know! You two can wrestle for it. I'll just stand here and, uh, officiate. Y'know, watch to make sure nobody pulls any dirty tricks. Well... no inappropriately dirty tricks, anyway...

Jeremy Rizza said...

MaGnUs and Dr. Tectonic: Sounds like it's time for me to break out my "Mission Accomplished" banner.

MaGnUs said...

Please do. And while I love the costumes, I will not watch the wrestling. :P

It's short a few gallons of alcohol and two Depeche Mode records for me to watch that kind of sport.