Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Stop, or My Hobo Will Shoot


"So I'm not bleeding internally right now... that's a pleasant notion..."

And the unremitting perkiness--! Ugh! I know I've spoken out against "gritty" depressing superheroes before, but this nonsense is really too much. I mean, would it kill her to spend a panel grimly, silently wrenching the bad guy's arm out of its socket? Just as a sort of palette cleanser?

(And how can you tell this man is bad? No necktie. Why, you can see his collarbone and everything. The pervert.)


Anonymous said...

You know, your joke about Geoff Johns redoing the piano lifting scene got me thinking that it would be really funny to see some of this Silver Age stuff reimagined by this current lot of creators. Man, I'd love it if Warren Ellis or Mark Millar were to rewrite this scene and have that mugger's bullets tear through Lana's head. J. G. Jones could draw some really cool brain matter exploding out the back of her skull.

What? Don't act like I'm the only one who wants to see Lana get aced.

Okay, okay. Afterwards, maybe the magic alien belt can pull all of her pieces back together and heal her or something.

Jeremy Rizza said...

If Warren Ellis wrote it, the "magic alien belt" would turn out to be a piece of construction paper with some macaroni glued on it that Lana, in a meth-induced delirium, imagined had fantastic powers.

Anonymous said...

I Claremont wrote it, the belt would turn her into a Japanese ninja with telepathic powers she can neither understand nor control! Oh, and the alien that gave her the Insect Queen ring? Totally her real father.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Haw! Boy, is that ever sad but true! And after a few issues, both of those subplots would be completely ignored.

Phillip said...

Is that really the best way to see whether you're invulnerable?

Jeremy Rizza said...

Phillip: Nope, but you have to admit it's decisive.