"Because God knows the ancestors of those dumb face-paintin' shmoes we passed on the way over here couldn't have done anything this cool! D'ya think maybe Leif Ericson made it this far south, or... naw! And I can't think of any other white guys who might've done this! I guess it's th' dang Moon Men!"
Professor Lang is so enraptured by his white colonialist fantasies that he doesn't even notice the legendary Ninth Wonder of the World: namely, Earth's Largest Chia Pet.