Thursday, June 28, 2007

Make Way For Masturbation Lad!


Or "Shadow Puppet Kid" if you insist the joke be tasteful. (What are you, the Pope? Jesus Christ!)

Behold the majesty of yet another "designer original" by my dear friend Storm Boy, whose relentlessly literal thinking is matched only by Anya from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and, of course, Alex Ross. This particular costume is from his Minimalist Period (March 5th through March 13th, 2972) and I think it shows impressive restraint on his part. It's not even pointy, and you know how much he loves that shit. However, ol' Stormy went too far in the other direction and made it boring. And then there's that goofy handprint on the tunic. So Karate Kid fights with his hands... big deal! He also uses his feet. So why didn't Storm Boy put a footprint on there, too? Hell, why didn't he just cover the whole damn thing with footprints and connect them with dotted lines, like one of those charts that shows you how to dance the mambo? Holy balls.

Fun fact: Storm Boy submitted a similar design to Timber Wolf, only the hand's thumb was raised and the index finger was folded back. (Think about it.) I don't think he ever heard back from the guy.


Bill S. said...

In a reboot, they could just change Masturbation Lad's name to "Handjob".

It is his "action suit," after all.

MaGnUs said...

You know, this is really, really, literal (but you said that already).

Karate means "empty hand", so he just printed an empty hand on one of Luke Skywalker's tunics?

What's next, Princess Projectra with a movie projector on her chest? Stone Boy with a... oh, wait... was that Storm Boy's design too?

Johnathan said...

Hey, if you look at that panel without reading the text it kind of looks like he's popping balloons.

"I must spoil Validus' birthday party... the fate of the universe depends on it!"

Blockade Boy said...

Bill: I thought that was the name of a James Bond villain.

MaGnUs: Yup, that's Storm Boy for you! Check out his "Blockade Boy" designs on the first April Fool's post (a picture of a steel wall and my name printed above it).

Jonathan: Heh. I find with most comics it's best not to read the text. Especially if it's Bendis writing!

MaGnUs said...

BB: Well, the name on your chest is very Adventures 247 chic, don't you think?

Blockade Boy said...

*shudder* You lost me at "chic."

jayunderscorezero said...

re: the Timberwolf design. At least he didn't have the thumb and middle fingers pulled in, which, in an amazing case of not-actually-reading-what-you-had-written, is what I at first thought you were describing with the Timberwolf design.

The Mutt said...

"Fortunately, my insulated action-suit will protect me as I grab these wires WITH MT BARE HANDS."

Just call me Electrocuted Lad.

Blockade Boy said...

Jayunderscorezero: That's okay. Sometimes I don't actually read what I'm writing!

The Mutt: Heh. I guess that's one of those things that works better if you don't think about it too hard.