Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Now We Play the Weighing Game


Aaaannd in the final panel, Satan's unholy legions emerge from the steaming pit, bringing about the Apocalypse. The End!

*heavy sigh* If only!

Here's where the story starts to fall completely apart. (And believe me, this yarn's gonna wind up making less sense than a David Lynch film.) In this panel Superboy tells Lana "I figured you wouldn't realize that although the metal ball had been super-compressed, it would still weigh two tons!" And yet Lana had said as much, out loud and right in front of his smug face, two panels earlier:


Superboy (the comic book)... what the hell? Explain yourself, mister! No, don't bother. I can see what's going on here! It's gotta be one of two possibilities.
A. Our Hero was preoccupied with his internal gloating and couldn't pay attention to Lana (quite likely), or...
B. The offices of 1961 DC Comics were practically swarming with dope fiends who were too krunked-out on the chronic (as you young people say) to remember their own names, much less recall what had transpired on the same page of the comic book they were producing. (Those same people are currently in charge of continuity at Marvel.)

The way this story will nosedive into sheer incomprehensibility, I'm leaning towards "B."

Next: things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.


Dave said...

"Yes... though I never dreamed Gravity Girl and Lana Lang were the same person!"

Yeah, sure. I mean, there weren't other clues, like posture, speech patterns, behavior, physical appearance.

Of course, "I knew you were Lana Lang! I've long since memorized the pattern of freckles on your butt!" probably wouldn't be Code-approved, even if it would explain why he kept looking up her skirt.

Johnathan said...

Things that weigh two tons burrow into the earth? Who knew?

Is that why giraffes (first two-ton animal I could find) are so scarce nowadays?

Jeremy Rizza said...

Dave: You'd think the way she wagged her finger at him a few panels ago would have been a tip-off.

Jonathan: And now you know why your SUV gets such poor gas mileage.

Anonymous said...

I suspect that the explanation may be that everyone in this story is very, very stupid.

Anonymous said...

Wait, I just noticed. If the whole point is that the two ton ball now has a much greater density, so all that weight is concentrated on a very small area, why does it make such a big hole?

Anonymous said...

And are we really meant to sympathize with the insufferably smug smirk on Clark's face there?

Jeremy Rizza said...

Marionette: I think you're right on target with your explanation. Only I'd add everybody involved with the production of this story to the stupid list. Yes, even the gofers, accountants, and printing press operators.

Chawunky: Sadly, yes. It's like with a lot of commercials nowadays, where all the characters are hateful, bitter assholes because the ad agency is staffed with hateful, bitter assholes.