Monday, July 09, 2007

Yes, Clarkie Dearest


Hey, I once spent an entire weekend playing "Kaboom!" Let me have a crack at those things!

Remember that scene from the "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" episode of the Office, where Toby's preschool-age daughter Sasha asks the Party Planning Committee if she can help them, and Angela says, "No thanks. We'd have to explain everything; it's probably just easier if we do it ourselves." Yeah. Superboy is like Angela. He could have somebody helping him take care of the non-stop crime and natural disasters that seem to plague Smallville on a daily basis and maybe he'd then have more time to relax or develop a social life but NO. Because he has this sick need for everything be freaking perfect he drives everybody away. No wonder he winds up living alone in an arctic wasteland.

What? Me?! Oh, hells no. I'm not nearly as uptight and demanding as Superboy. Why, I have lots of friends nearby right now! ...All of whom I, er, happen to, uh... pay.

Aw, shut up.

(Side note: Weight Wizard once gave me a "glancing blow." So I yanked on his hair and demanded that he try again and put some freaking effort into it.)

Gravity Girl Vulnerability Checklist:
1. Wood (like the Golden Age Green Lantern and most other super-heroes)
2. Fire (like the Martian Manhunter and most other super-heroes)
3. Rock (again, just like every superhero who doesn't possess some level of decreased vulnerability, such as a tough hide or a forcefield -- which is to say, most superheroes)

By the way, Storm Boy isn't happy with some of your responses to his new costume, so now he wants to post a rebuttal. So you might want to brace yourselves for that.


Phillip said...

"Glancing blow." I had to think about that one for a bit. Then, it came to me...

Skeleton Munroe said...

I kind of wish that Superman/boy treated all superheroes like he does Gravity Girl.

"You're vulnerable to *yellow*? Oh hell no. Give me that ring. Now go home. And stop with the test piloting - you're not immune to fiery plane crashes, you know. And your stomach is vulnerable to capsaicin, so lay off the chili."

Eventually, Metropolis would be coated in a layer of foam padding to protect everyone from their vulnerability to matter. Plus he'd have Bruce Wayne chained up in a dungeon somewhere to keep him safe, because Batman's vulnerable to *everything*.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Phillip: Did I make milk shoot out of your nose?

Jonathan: Heh. I think that's why Superboy worked so well with the Legion. They wouldn't even speak to you if there was more than a 0.00001% chance of your powers causing some Goldbergian chain of events that could injure somebody.