Friday, July 13, 2007

At Last, None of It Comes Together

s183shortlyassuperboyexplains

The belt can't repel wood? Like, for instance, a whole big pile of it? And she was able to snap the rope that tethered the balloon (with super strength!) because why, precisely? Listen, I'm not trying to be a jerk about this (although it does come naturally to me) but would it have killed them to at least honor the continuity within their own story?

Also, the belt is a rare artifact from a now-extinct and possibly extraterrestrial civilization but Professor Lang the archaeologist (who discovered the damn thing) thinks it should be destroyed. He's probably gonna head back down there right now and blow up the giant chia pet, Taliban-style!

11 comments:

Sleestak said...

"You better destroy the belt, so some little weasel doesn't write in to the Editor to complain a year from now that Lana could have used the belt to get away from those crooks that held her captive int he most recent issue."

Siskoid said...

Metal cables?

Siskoid said...

Ah no, it's quite clearly hemp.

Hm. Hemp.

Might explain a lot about the story.

Chance said...

Superboy's a superhero elitist, isn't he? "Sorry, you're not completely, 100% invulnerable. Powers, schmowers. Repelling bullets? Not good enough. You're not invulnerable, so you can't be a superhero at all... unlike ME! Me, me me. Invulnerable. Me."

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Does Young Superman go after Alan Scott yet? The deadly wood weakness...it'll get ya every time.

Blockade Boy said...

Sleestak: Heh. That's probably the real reason! Man, just thinking about this panel makes me want to go all "Indiana Jones" on their asses. "IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!!!"

Siskoid: I guess it's hard to concentrate on maintaining continuity when you've got the munchies!

Chance: Yup! In a way, I almost wish he was as high-handed with the situation as pre-Infinite Crisis Batman would have been: he'd have confiscated the belt and costume and then installed another young woman as "Gravity Girl."

Gyuss Baaltar: He could have gone after a ton of superheroes, couldn't he? In a way, he'd make for an entertaining villain... he'd have to be better than that emo douchebag Superboy Prime, anyway.

Bill S. said...

Even Venom is mortified by the moral of this story. "Don't even leave the HOUSE if you aren't completely invulnerable. Now get to the kitchen and make me a pie, woman!"

Blockade Boy said...

Bill S.: Heh. You're right; Lana's eyes ping-pong between Superboy and her dad as they discuss her fate, while Venom just stares straight out at the reader, Boondocks-style, as if to say "Can you believe this shit?"

MaGnUs said...

So, she's not Gravity Girl but Magnetic Girl? Is she Rokk in drag? BB, did you give Rokk a new costume, complete with a red wig?

Bill S. said...

I would have to assume that if BB did do that, he would have designed a much better costume.

Blockade Boy said...

MaGnUs: Or maybe she's Frances Kane! (In which case, look out, Superboy!)

Bill S.: Damn right! *pounds fist on robo-leg, inadvertently breaking several bones in my hand* Gah! Son of a--!