Wednesday, September 12, 2007



Who needs televangelists when you can just speak directly to the Lord himself via whatever gizmo Mister Kline has? ("Are you there, Kline? It's Me, God!") Just try not to piss Him off.
Mister Kline: ...and before I sign off for today, could You maybe do something about this thing on my foot? *hoists foot onto uncluttered desk, pulls off shoe and sock*

God: Suppose you tell Me what I'm supposed to be looking at, exactly--?

Mr. Kline: That white spot... I think it's a Plantar's wart?

God: So? Go down to the corner drugstore and pick up some of that remover.

Mr. Kline: Well... I mean, You're right here, couldn't You just heal it for me?

God: Ugh. Stop wasting My time. I was going to give you a chance to repent for all the terrorism business, but you know what? This is the last straw. You're going straight to hell.

Mr. Kline *panicked*: But, I--!

God: Peace out!

[The shimmering image evaporates, leaving Mr. Kline in total darkness.]


Anonymous said...

Continuing your "what's in the background" game, I see a steam radiator, either knobs or those little "family style" photo albums that come in packs of three, that a phone booth on the right!? The radiator, at least, explains the shimmering effect. I bet it's a lot "like that caused by a sudden heat."

Also continuing with the theme of "show don't; tell," you'll note that the uncluttered desk fails to appear on-panel. As if the editor believed that it'd be just too much evidence of an unbalanced mind, as his bumper sticker keeps reminding him.

Open question: If it was time for the report, why didn't God call Kline, instead of the reverse?

("Peace out." Snicker...)

Siskoid said...

What most amazes me is that the story is continued after the next page, when this seems like the issue's very climax.

I'm a huge fan of this series of posts, as I think you know, and I keep thinking about doing something like it but why don't I?

a) I could never find a comic as inspiringly bad as this in my collection.
b) I've come to realize stripping a story down like this makes it last for ages and I'm afraid of the commitment.
c) I could never achieve the grandeur that is Blockade Boy, so why even try.
d) All of the above.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Anonymous: Maybe Mr. Kline is living on the "Eraserhead" set...

Siskoid: I agree totally about the pacing, and yet Demitrius' "startling revelation" about working for "Mr. Kline" sucks most of the energy out of the climax. Conway pretty much had to keep going and show that Mr. Kline is just a middleman for somebody else who he calls "my lord." As for the panel-by-panel posting, I bet you could pull it off. And on the plus side, you'd only have to keep one comic on hand for the several weeks.