Give Me Balloon Inspection Or Give Me Death

Careful with the patter, Swifty! You're liable to start a riot! Y'see, if there's anything I learned from all the time I spent in 21st Century Wichita, Kansas (a.k.a. The Hand-Painted Anti-Abortion Roadsign Capital of the World) it's that Midwesterners love anything that's free! (Except access to abortion.) Take a look at how the prospect of a free balloon inspection affected that guy in the brown suit. From his posture, I'm pretty sure he just crapped his pants. (And yet his enthusiasm remains undimmed.)