Weight Wizard's been acting all pissy lately, shirking his chores and back-talking me, which would be understandable if he was fourteen and not twenty-two. So I sat him down for a talk. By which I mean I made him listen to me sing a song about a proper space pirate: me! (With apologies to the Mary Poppins soundtrack.)
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7 comments:
Holy cow, you sound even more butch than I ever expected! It's like even your voice is hairy! (Yucky image.)
Is it wrong that I suddenly find myself wishing for a copy of the 12" (hehe) disco remix of this song? Four on the floor rhythm, ascending bassline, synth stabs, string section punctuating the important points. That would make me so happy!
Amazing! Mary Poppins can go hang, that film didn't have super-hero cyborg space pirates.
You know... you could recreate the whole durned movie - Tusker and Rainbow Girl could be the kiddies and Storm Boy the Dad. Weight Wizard would have to fill the Dick van Dyke role, which I guess is eerily apropos. A dirty nude chimney sweep would be just the thing to bring a hoary old classic into the 31st Century. You might have to recruit some of your Twenty-First Century chums to fill out the more minor parts but by gumbo I think we've got a show!
It sounds kind of like a cross between Lou Reed and Oscar the Grouch.
Bill S.: Thanks, buddy! I only wish I didn't have to sing in a slightly higher register than my speaking voice. I'm the laughing-stock of Amaadus!
Jayunderscorezero: Maybe if we get George Lucas to CGI it up...
Jonathan: It's a grand idea but I feel exhausted just thinking about it!
Jon: Yeah, I get that a lot. (And I feel like a cross between Brock Lesnar and the Cookie Monster.)
I'm jealous! Only pirates ever get to sing like this. The rest of us have to prepare and maybe even write something. Then along comes the Pirate King or Brigadier Blockade or even Captain Hook, just rhyming as it comes.
Oh, it's true. I hear Captain Morgan was a hellacious freestyle rapper.
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