Friday, August 03, 2007

This Looks Like a Job for an STD-Riddled Bottle Jockey!

im41thisisajobfor

Wow, it has a coin acceptor! Little-known fact: Tony's last high-tech pacemaker conked out on him in the middle of a spectacular three-way with Pepper Potts and Jarvis, and he had to construct a brand new one on the spot out of the "magic fingers" vibrating bed in their filthy little motel room. The only downside is that he has to keep feeding it nickels.

By the way, you know what all the upper-class business magnates like to wear?

im41beltbucklecloseup

Monogrammed belt buckles!

...Oops. My bad. That's actually what pimps like to wear. (Tony still qualifies!)

14 comments:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Hey, if a monogrammed belt buckle is good enough for Clark Kent, it's good enough for Tony Stark.

MaGnUs said...

God Tony, that's gotta be one of the most awful belts EVER.

Crowded House said...

Coin-operated Tony Stark: Deposit 5 cents for drunken ramblings, 10 cents for an afternoon of crying into beers while lamenting how he can never know true love while he must be Iron Man for, like, the six hundredth time; 25 cents for an entire week of binge drinking and partying, and 1 dollar to watch him act completely out of character, capture everyone who disagrees with him, call those who fight against him 'unpatriotic traitors' and just generally act like a douchebag. Moral high horse not included.

Dave said...

Tony has the same tailor as Power Man. Who'd have thought it?

Chance said...

I literally spat all over my keyboard reading this post. Curse you, Blockade Boy! Curse you and your 30th century ultra-humor!

Blockade Boy said...

Jon: I grok what you're getting at, but I personally don't think that belt buckle is good enough for Clark Kent.

MaGnUs: To be fair, he's only wearing it because he lost a drinking contest.

Crowded House: That's really quite economical! (Joe Quesada must have a ton of dollar coins.)

Dave: Haw!

Chance: Sorry about your keyboard. Maybe I should post a warning about the ultra-strength of my futuristic humor. I don't need any lawsuits right now.

Scipio said...

No, no! That is not a monogrammed belt buckle.

Tony Stark has his own clothing line consisting of belts, boots, and puke-resistant rayon shirts. The TS is a brand symbol, people!

Johnathan said...

Moustache rides: 5 cents.

Crowded House said...

Hey! I already did that joke. Although now I wish I had included that, too.

Johnathan said...

I saw a niche and I filled it.

Which costs a dime, by the way.

Blockade Boy said...

Scipio: So what you're saying is that Tony Stark = Super Donald Trump?

Jonathan and Crowded House: But with Dum-Dum Dugan it costs $1.50.

MaGnUs said...

I don't wanna know what a mustache ride is, but mine are $3 (ladies only).

Blockade Boy said...

Do you make them sign a personal injury waiver beforehand? It looks awful pointy.

MaGnUs said...

Yes, of course. I can't be dealing with no lawsuits! Oh, and you must be *this* high to ride.